Father’s Day with local celebs .
From Joost expressing his sadness at not being able to play with his kids to Trevor Gumbi telling us about his dreams for his boys, local celebs talk about what Father’s Day means to them and share stories of loss, love and laughter
JOOST VAN DER WESTHUIZEN AND KIDS JORDAN AND KYLIE
He can’t talk to his kids like other dads nor can he hug them or kiss them any more. These days former Springbok Joost van der Westhuizen (45) is reduced to communicating with Jordan (12) and Kylie (10) – pictured with her beloved husky, Roxy – through a special eye-tracker as the motor neurone disease he was diagnosed with in 2011 takes its toll. But there’s no doubting the deep well of love he has for his kids.
“We have our own special relationship,” he tells YOU via the tracker, which translates his eye movement into words. “I can’t do a lot with them but I try to support them in everything they do.”
Every moment he spends with his pigeon pair is a gift. “Kylie helps me lift my head and Jordan tells me all about Liverpool soccer. Every morning he tells me he loves me. That’s very special. Kylie is full of jokes. She’s so funny. I try to visit them every day.
“I’m in the sad situation where I can’t be a normal father to help Amor raise my kids. Just the mere fact that I can’t talk to them makes it difficult. I communicate with them with the tracker but it’s not my voice. It doesn’t show emotion. And because of their age it’s difficult to have a conversation with them because it takes so long for me to write and I end up losing their attention.”
In 2013 Joost published a book, 99 Things I Want My Children To Know. So as Father’s Day rolls around what are the lessons he wants to teach his kids today?
“In my own way I’m trying to teach them to never give up, to learn through disappointments, to live their dreams.
“I asked them a few years ago what those dreams were and we enjoyed making them
come true together. I took Jordan to Anfield to watch Liverpool play and we took Kylie to swim with dolphins (YOU, 12 March 2015).
“I knew the day would come when I wouldn’t be able to teach them anything the way I’d have liked to. That’s why I wrote the book for them.”
Joost is grateful to wife Amor Vittone, from whom he’s separated, for everything she does for the kids. “I try to help where I can. I’m also thankful for everyone helping to make it possible for me to be with my children while I still can.”
So what do the kids have planned for Joost on Father’s Day? Amor (44) says they’ll start off by treating him to breakfast and spoiling him with gifts, including a trophy that says #1 Dad and personalised coffee mugs with messages and drawings. On Jordan’s mug is a picture of him and his dad as rugby players, harking back to the days when they could still pass the ball to each other at home or on the beach.
Joost says in a perfect world he’d love nothing more than to be able “to pick them up, to hug them and to play with them”.
But right now nothing gives him more joy than spending time with his kids and seeing them happy. And this Father’s Day is no different.
‘We have our own special relationship. I can’t do a lot with them but I try to support them in everything they do’
ROXY BURGER AND DAD BASIE
It’s clear from the get-go that TV presenter Roxy Burger (29) is a daddy’s girl. When she’s with Basie (64) there’s a playfulness and closeness that’s wonderful to see. “My sister, Cassidy, and I both had our dad wrapped around our fingers as kids – I think we still do,” Roxy says.
She reckons she’s inherited many of Basie’s traits, including his determination and creativity. And when it comes to seeking advice, her dad – a business consultant and musician – is her first port of call.
“We’re close and I think sometimes we get irritated with each other because we’re so similar,” she says. “My dad is definitely someone I turn to for advice. He worked incredibly hard to build his career.”
One thing she definitely didn’t get from her dad, she says, is his cleanliness. “He’s so OCD, so tidy – you should see his car! – whereas I’m incredibly messy,” she says.
Roxy has fond memories of her dad being her No 1 supporter during netball games and ballet recitals and doing daily pick-ups after afternoons on set at K-TV, M-Net’s former kids’ programme timeslot, where she started her TV career at the age of 13.
Basie loves nothing more than being there for his girls. “I often say to my wife, Anne, ‘What did we do before we had kids?’ I’d do it all over again, especially with these two. I haven’t a single regret – although I did have to give up rugby for netball,” he quips. “I’ve often said to Roxy, ‘Get a real job’ – but seriously, Anne and I agree Roxy must follow her passion. We haven’t stood in her way.”
When they were little Roxy and Cassidy (27) would dress up in Basie’s clothes on Father’s Day and perform plays and puppet shows for him. Now they’re older it’s enough for Basie just to be able to spend time with his girls.
So if money were no object, what would Roxy do for her dad on his special day?
“I’d buy him a trip to the Montreux Jazz Festival [in Switzerland] or something like that,” she says.
“Better start saving!” Basie adds with a wink.
ROBBIE COETZEE AND DAD
You won’t see them putting on public displays of affection but the Lions rugby star and his father are super close. “The one thing I don’t tell my dad often enough is that I love him,” Robbie (27) says. “We’re not emotional people so we don’t kiss or that type of thing. We shake hands.”
And being firm-handshake kind of guys is just one of many things they have in common. From his walk to his rugged build, Robbie really is his dad’s mini-me. “We also have the same business sense, we think the same and we have a habit of putting others first,” he adds.
While Robbie was growing up, Barney (56), a businessman, was always his No 1 supporter, taking time off work to make sure he was at every game and every away trip.
Robbie also has fond memories of pottering around in the garage with his dad and deep-sea fishing trips, which they still enjoy.
“I remember my first fishing trip in Port Elizabeth when I was 13. We used hand lines
TREVOR GUMBI AND SONS
Fun, cool, funny and nice are just some of the words used by 11-year-old Jamie (right) and nine-year-old Jodie to describe their dad – hardly surprising when you consider laughter usually follows comic and actor Trevor Gumbi (35) wherever he goes.
But life’s not all one big joke in the Gumbi household. Trevor, a YOU Spectacular Favourite Comedian nominee, started a family tradition of one-on-ones with his boys. “I make time to take them out individually and we spend an hour or two just talking. In that time they can confess any wrongdoings and won’t get into trouble,” says Trevor, who believes part of raising stable children is affording them a safe space to talk about what’s troubling them.
This is just one of the lessons Trevor has taken from a difficult childhood, which saw him raised by a single mother. He and wife Lucille (33) have created a strong family unit and Trevor is determined his sons won’t have to endure the hardship he suffered as a kid.
“It was awful growing up without a father but that is the card I was dealt. The only
‘We’re not emotional people so we don’t kiss or that type of thing. We shake hands’
BARNEY
and were 90 m deep in the water. We left at about four in the morning and returned home at 7 pm. I caught a snoek and I remember sleeping so well that night. It was definitely one of our best trips.”
Robbie’s success hasn’t affected their relationship one bit, Barney says.
“His celebrity status hasn’t changed him. I come across people all the time who’ve known him since he was little. Everyone will tell you he’s still the same: he keeps his head down and remains down to earth,” Barney says proudly.
Barney’s greatest mission is to be the best dad possible to sons Robbie and Déwald (29), especially because he lost his own dad at the age of 13. While Robbie would love to buy his dad a boat for Father’s Day some day, for Barney the greatest gift is one he already has: that his sons aren’t just brothers but friends too.
“I don’t regret taking time off work to support them. Now that they’re all grown up we might not get to spend as much time together as we used to but they’ll always have me on their side.” MORE ON YOU. CO.ZA FOR IDEAS ON HOW TO TREAT YOUR DAD THIS FATHER’S DAY, GO TO YOU.CO.ZA AND SEARCH FOR “FATHER”.
JAMIE AND JODIE
thing I can do is not repeat that process with these two. We were all victims of circumstance because apartheid created a legacy of a lot of black men being forced to leave their families in rural areas to look for work in the cities. That’s why I believe the modern man is a more present father.”
Trevor wants his sons to know he’ll love them no matter what. “I’m teaching them that being present is all that matters. Not material possessions, just your presence.”
On Father’s Day Jamie and Jodie will be sticking to a tried and trusted formula. “We cook breakfast for him and make him gifts at school,” Jamie says.
“Last year we got him a World’s Greatest Dad mug,” Jodie adds.
‘It was awful growing up without a father but that is the card I was dealt’