I’M IN LOVE WITH A MUCH YOUNGER MAN

I’m 40 and have fallen deeply in love with a guy who’s 18. We met through work and I felt something immediately but told myself it couldn’t happen as he’s too young for me. But when he confessed he had feelings for me I told him how I felt.

He’s proposed and I’ve said yes. I’ve never been treated with so much love and respect by men my age and in the two months we’ve been together he’s never pressured me about sex. Neither of us wants kids but it worries me that he’s 22 years younger than me. Am I breaking any law?

He’s not looking for a sugar mommy – I’m unemployed and don’t buy him presents or give him money. He pays when we go out and if he doesn’t have money he’s open about it and we just relax at home.

I’ve fallen really hard for him and feel we’re best friends, but is he mature enough? Frightened, email Firstly, you’re not breaking the law – at 18 a person is legally considered an adult. But your gut feeling that the age gap could be problematic is correct. It may not be a problem now but it may well be when you’re 62 and he’s 40.

It’s not unusual for a young man of 18 not to want children but as he matures he may change his mind and you’re fast approaching an age where a pregnancy would be considered high-risk.

The natural ageing process may also become a source of worry and insecurity for you when your partner is much younger. You’re in the prime of your life now and even if one ages gracefully there’s no denying that getting older takes a toll physically. If you choose this man as a life partner you have to realise the road ahead may be difficult at times. The odds of a couple with such a huge age gap staying together aren’t good. You don’t mention his family – there’s also the issue of how accepting they’ll be. If they’re not supportive it can make life unpleasant.

You need to decide if you’re willing to deal with all the problems and complications that come with a relationship of this nature.