HOW DO I COPE WITH THIS NEW GUY?

I met a wonderful guy a month ago while I was holidaying at the seaside. We live in the same city so we continued our relationship after the holiday. While on vacation he was lots of fun, carefree and romantic. But now that we’re dating in “real life” he seems to be much more serious.

He’s dedicated to his work – he’s a medical practitioner and wants to specialise in a particular medical field. He has much less time to spend with me now as he’s doing his compulsory community service at a government hospital.

I’m an artist and a graphic designer so I don’t know much about his world. How do I fit in? How do I adapt to this more serious man? Gisella, email

It sounds as if you met your boyfriend just after he qualified as a doctor and he’s now had to enter the adult world of work as a fully fledged professional. It’s natural that he’d be more serious and dedicated now that he has the responsibility of a full-time job.

Starting out in a career can be a stressful time, as is doing community service in a public hospital due to the long hours and huge number of patients who have to be seen.

If you want the relationship to work you need to accept his working conditions. Plan fun things for when he does have time off so he can learn to balance his work and personal life.

He does need to make time for you, and just as you should support him emotionally he needs to do the same for you. As time goes on you’ll learn more about his world, just as he’ll have to learn about yours. Be patient.