Ask Dr Louise .

I used to be happy and my husband and I had good jobs, but then he went through a stressful time at work and had a breakdown. Since then he’s developed a fear of being on his own. He’s lost his selfconfidence and is so unsure of himself he wants my permission for every decision.

He resigned after the breakdown and started doing contract work but he hasn’t had any since April. He refuses to socialise and if he has to go to the shop for me he phones several times so I can make simple decisions for him. He makes no effort to market his business and seems happy to just stay at home.

We have two kids and I now carry the full burden of our household expenses. I’ve taken on three jobs to keep the wolf from the door and have no time for myself as I work every weekday until about 8.30 pm. He plays golf twice a week as he has to have time to chill.

I feel angry and have lost any loving feeling for my husband. He doesn’t believe in psychologists. What should I do? Erica, email

Your husband has cocooned himself in a comfort zone where he can indulge his fears without making any effort to resolve them. He’s hiding from the world while you have to work yourself to a standstill. If things continue like this, you’ll come to resent him even more – and if that’s left to fester, it can destroy your marriage.

It’s vital you compel him to seek professional help. If he refuses to see a psychologist to help him sort out his problems, you have to draw a line – if he won’t go, then no more money for golf. You can’t continue to work the way you’re working while he takes the easy way out.

If he wants to stay at home he must take over the household chores, prepare meals and see the children are ready for school. When he goes to do the shopping, give him a list and refuse to take calls from him that are simply about him wanting you to make a decision. He has to do it on his own. It’s time for some tough love.