I FEEL AS IF I DON’T HAVE A PLACE ANYWHERE

When my husband lost his job we relocated to Angola as he was able to find employment there. It meant I had to give up my career as I was unable to work due to the rules regarding expatriates. After seven years the project he’d been working on was completed and we returned to South Africa.

My husband’s qualifications and experience led to him being able to get a job quickly while I’m left just doing everything at home and no longer feel as if I have an identity. It’s the second marriage for both of us, and his children and mine are grown up. I’m in my early fifties and feel it’s too late to start working again.

My husband earns a good salary so there’s no financial reason why I should work. But I feel I have no place any more. Joyce, email While you were in Angola you were your husband’s primary support system and the two of you felt the bond of being together in a strange country. You didn’t feel the loss of your career so much because you were providing a stable base for the two of you in a foreign environment.

Now that you’re home you’re probably feeling lost because your husband doesn’t need you in the same way and it’s less of a challenge running the house in a familiar environment.

If you don’t rejoin the workforce it doesn’t mean there’s nothing for you to do. Employ a domestic worker and organise things at home in such a way that you have time to pursue your interests. If you don’t want to spend all your time on hobbies, try volunteer work. There are many organisations helping people in need or you could volunteer at an animal rehabilitation centre. You’ll quickly realise how valuable you can be to others.