Melania, the reluctant first lady
America’s new first lady looked miserable on the day her husband was inaugurated and seems unhappy being in the public eye
SMILE and wave – that’s a big part of your job when you’re America’s first lady. Shame, Melania Trump gives it her best shot, but somehow – even though she’s a former model – her grin always looks more like a grimace. Try as she might, she can’t help letting her true feelings show.
But why is she always so miserable? Her interaction with her husband, Donald Trump, on Inauguration Day in January, when he was sworn in as America’s 45th president, was so strained and uncomfortable that it sparked speculation about the state of their marriage. Surely that must explain why she’s choosing to stay on in New York instead of moving into the White House?
Melania (46) looked so unhappy on her husband’s big day that she inspired a #FreeMelania drive on Twitter and messages of solidarity such as, “Melania: Blink twice if you need help.”
But insiders say it isn’t Trump’s fault that his wife often looks as if she’s about to burst into tears. The real reason is that she really hates her new job. Before, she was a woman of leisure, able to do exactly as she pleased. Now she’s had this new role foisted upon her and there are so many expectations.
“This life wasn’t her dream. It was Donald’s,” says family friend and stylist Phillip Bloch. “Truthfully, it’s a lot to cope with.”
Maybe that explains why Trump’s third wife has been keeping a low profile since the inauguration. As foreign dignitaries such as Canadian prime minister Justin Trudeau and Japanese prime minister Shinzo Abe swung by for their first diplomatic visits to the new president she was nowhere in sight.
It’s rather ironic: in her new role she’s one of the world’s most prominent women, and yet for the first month of her husband’s term of office she’s been largely invisible.
While her predecessor, Michelle Obama, also made it clear that she was a reluctant first lady, she still made an effort. Within her first week on the job in 2009 she was hosting an open house for select members of the public and a party for White House staffers.
Melania, on the other hand, waited an almost unheard of 27 days to make her first official appearance. It was at an event to welcome Israeli prime minister Benjamin Netanyahu and his wife Sara to the White House. Dressed in an impeccably tailored white cashmere pencil skirt and jacket designed by Karl Lagerfeld, the first lady was as polished as ever. But although she looked slightly more relaxed than she did at the inauguration, those who know her well say it’s still a daily struggle.
“Don’t let her smile in those photos fool you,” a source says. “She hates this.”
ALTHOUGH many have been surprised by her reluctance to assume her duties, it was always the plan. From the start she said she intended staying in New York so they wouldn’t have to uproot their son Barron
(10) before the end of the school year.
So that’s why, instead of supporting her husband, she’s spent most of the time in the Big Apple, holed up in their $100-million (R1,3 billion) apartment in Trump Tower in New York, leaving it to her stepdaughter Ivanka to fill in for her.
But even far away from Washington, high up in her 66th-floor penthouse, she hasn’t been able to escape the glare of public scrutiny. TV host Jimmy Kimmel joked about her being “trapped like Rapunzel”.
He isn’t far off. Insiders say it’s beginning to dawn on her just how much her life has changed. No more impromptu shopping trips or coffee dates with friends. Where before she was able to travel around the city in relative anonymity and drop her son off at school in the morning, the new normal entails being escorted by a full motorcade with sirens blaring.
With the tower often surrounded by angry protesters, these days she finds it easier to leave it to her Secret Service guards to take Barron to school. Since the inauguration she’s reportedly left the building on just a handful of occasions.
But although the pressure is on for her to step into her role as first lady, insiders reckon she’ll resist leaving the city, even after Barron finishes his school year in June.
“Melania’s never moving,” an insider says. “She’ll come up with an excuse to stay in New York.”
It’s never easy being in the public eye but rather than toughening her up, the scrutiny she’s faced over the past few months has just served to heighten her reserve. Body language expert India Ford says the new first lady “doesn’t look comfortable in her skin” and appears to “walk on eggshells” around the president. From watching their interactions Ford reckons Trump (70) is a “narcissist” while Melania is like “a child looking for constant validation”.
But there are 228 years of tradition linked to her new role and whether she likes it or not, she’ll be measured against the women who came before her, experts warn. She has the lowest favourability ratings of any modern first lady – only 37 percent compared to Michelle, Laura Bush and Hillary Clinton, who each had ratings above 55 percent when they took office.
When American Vogue editor Anna Wintour said that Trump’s wife will probably soon grace the iconic magazine’s cover, it caused an outcry, with readers threatening to boycott the title.
Meanwhile comedian Chelsea Handler took aim at Melania, who was raised in Slovenia, for “barely speaking English”. But in addition to her heavily accented English, Melania speaks four languages – French, Italian, German and Slovene.
Although some of the criticism is unfair, her reluctance to assume her duties may be compounding negative perceptions of her, warns Myra Gutin, a communications professor at Rider University in New Jersey, US.
“She could be giving the administration a little bit of a softer touch because we do make certain decisions about a president based on his family,” Myra says. “Ivanka and her family are there, but with Mrs Trump and Mr Trump’s younger son, it would be a different kind of feeling.”
Michael D’Antonio, who’s written a biography of Trump, predicts that Melania will be gracious as first lady but she’ll have minimal engagement with the role.
Although at times she might look fragile and vulnerable, Melania herself has warned that she’s no pushover.
“People, they don’t really know me,” she said in an interview last year.
“People think and talk about me, like, ‘Oh, Melania, oh, poor Melania.’ Don’t feel sorry for me.”
Seems she’s quite capable of taking care of herself. Melania, who married Trump in 2005, recently slapped British tabloid the Daily Mail with a $150-million (R1,9-billion) lawsuit for an article it published last year which suggested she’d once worked as an escort.
Melania is deeply unhappy about the story, which has since been retracted. But not for the reasons you’d expect. Her lawyers say the article damaged her “unique, once-in-a-lifetime opportunity” to “launch a broad-based commercial brand” across product categories that would have included apparel accessories, shoes, jewellery, cosmetics and fragrance.
Some find it odd that Melania is so keen to profit from her public role.
“There’s never been a first lady of the United States who insinuated that she intended to make a lot of money because of the ‘once-in-a-lifetime’ opportunity,” says Richard Painter, who was a White House ethics counsel under President George W Bush.
Just like her husband, it seems Melania intends doing things her own way.
(Turn over)