Laugh a little

Fancy yourself a joker? Email original jokes to chuckles@you.co.za or send them to Chuckles, YOU, PO Box 7167, Roggebaai 8012, and we may publish them on this page.

THE HIKE AND THE BIKE

A guy arrives home from a long business trip to find his son driving an expensive new mountain bike. “Where did you get that, son?” he asks. “I bought it, Dad,” his son replies. “And where did you get the money?” “I got it by hiking.” “Hiking?” “Yes, every night Mom’s boss came over and gave me R100 to take a hike.”

THE OLD MAN’S CONDITION

Two medical students are walking along the street when they see an old man with his legs apart, walking stiff-legged and slowly.

“I’m sure that poor old man has Peltry syndrome,” one student says to his friend. “Sufferers walk just like that.”

“No, I don’t think so,” the other student says. “Surely the old man has Zovitzki syndrome. Look, he’s walking slowly and his legs are apart, just as we learnt in class.”

Since they can’t agree on a diagnosis they decide to approach the old man and ask him about his condition.

“We’re medical students,” the first one explains. “We couldn’t help noticing the way you walk but we can’t agree on your condition. Could you please tell us what it is?”

“I’ll tell you,” the old man says. “But first I’d like to hear what you two medical students think it is.”

“Well,” the first student says, “I think it’s Peltry syndrome.”

“That might be what you think but you’re wrong,” the old man says.”

“I think you have Zovitzki syndrome,” the other student says.

“Well, that might be what you think but you’re wrong.”

“So,” the first student says, “what do you have?”

“Well, I thought it was gas but I was wrong too.”

DOG’S WORLD

Two guys are out walking their dogs when they pass a restaurant.

“Hmm, the food smells amazing,” one says. “Let’s go inside and get something to eat.”

“I’d love to,” the other guy says, “but look at the sign on the door – they don’t allow dogs. What are we going to do with ours?”

So the first guy puts on a pair of sunglasses and has his friend do the same.

“Follow my lead,” he says and walks into the restaurant. Soon a waiter stops him.

“Sorry, sir,” he says, “but you can’t bring a dog in here.”

The guy is offended. “Excuse me!” he says. “I’m blind and this is my seeing-eye dog.”

“But hang on,” the waiter says. “This dog is a pit bull!”

“I know,” the blind guy says. “But I’m a very important person and I also need protection.” The waiter lets him and his dog in.

The second guy follows him but is stopped by the waiter.

“Sorry sir,” he says, “but you can’t bring a dog in here.”

“But I’m blind,” the second guy says. “This is my seeing-eye dog.” “Really?” the waiter says, “a Chihuahua?” “What!” the guy says. “You mean they gave me a Chihuahua?”

THE 24-HOUR STORE

A man goes to a 24-hour grocery shop. As he gets there he finds the shop owner locking the front door.

“Hey, the sign outside your shop says you’re open 24 hours,” the client complains.

“That’s right,” the shop owner says, “but not in a row.”