Widow: my husband married again
SHE thought she and her husband were totally committed to their marriage – that’s what they’d promised each other 30 years ago. But as she prepared for his memorial service, the 64-year-old widow received a phone call that left her reeling.
“I had no idea that you and Gerald got divorced,” the broker from an insurance company said. Louise Engelbrecht was speechless upon hearing that another
When her husband killed himself, Louise was in for another shock: his other ‘widow’ was claiming his estate By JANA SMIT Pictures: TUMELO LEBURU
woman was claiming her husband’s insurance policies – as his legal wife.
On the day he died, 3 May last year, 56-year-old Gerald had confessed that he’d been having an extramarital affair but he hadn’t breathed a word about having married another woman. So Louise was completely blindsided when she discovered that what the broker was telling her was true: Gerald had indeed married the woman the previous year, in the tradition of Islam, a religion that he’d presumably embraced.
“I was like a madwoman,” Louise recalls.
Within the space of eight days she’d been hit with three major shocks: first her husband’s admission that he’d been unfaithful, then his death by suicide, and finally the news that another woman was claiming to be his widow.
Now, more than 10 months later, she’s still locked in a legal struggle – even though the high court in Johannesburg declared his marriage to Amina Khan* (38) invalid in October last year.
Despite an eviction notice Amina is still living in the house Gerald bought for her on Gauteng’s West Rand. As his legal heir, Louise paid up the bond for the property.
As she struggles with the legal ins and outs her emotions are in turmoil.
“I still haven’t come to terms with life without him,” Louise tells us in the garden flat in Germiston she used to share with Gerald.
She says during their long marriage they never argued. “He was a wonderful man. He never hid anything from me. Just the affair.”
TWO weeks before his death she started becoming suspicious. Her husband, a financial manager at a media company, was away from home a lot. He told her that he was working or out visiting friends and she believed him. But she began having her doubts when she discovered receipts for bathroom sinks and mirrors. He explained that he’d paid for these items on behalf of a colleague whose credit card wasn’t working.
The truth came out only when Gerald received an SMS one morning. Louise read it while he was in the shower. It said, “Good morning, my darling. I am leaving in five minutes.”
When she confronted her husband he admitted he’d been having an affair for six years. First he said he wanted a divorce but that night he had a change of heart. Tears streaming down his face, he told her he’d made a mistake. He admitted he’d bought Amina a house.
Louise was prepared to save their marriage, but she wanted to see the bank statements and demanded to meet the other woman. Gerald was reluctant to arrange the meeting.
She held her emotional husband in
(From previous page) bed and consoled him. She couldn’t fall asleep. Tired, confused and overwrought, she got up, went to the kitchen and mixed the powder of 160 tablets – among them pills for anxiety, pain and arthritis – in a glass of hot water.
“Gerald came in and said, ‘You don’t have to do that’,” she recalls. After he’d gone back to their bedroom she swallowed the mixture, wrote a suicide note and felt her tongue become thick in her mouth.
A week later she came to in hospital to find her three adult children sitting next to her bed. When she asked for Gerald they told her that after she’d taken the medicine cocktail he’d gone outside and shot himself.
The night after his funeral Louise’s brother, Charles van den Heever, brought her the proof that Gerald had married Amina in a Muslim ceremony on 13 November 2015.
Eight months earlier they’d bought a home on the West Rand together. On Gerald’s bank statement Louise later found a payment of R48 000 to a fertility clinic, leading her to suspect they wanted to have a baby together.
To date the two women in Gerald’s life have never met, although they’ve spoken by phone. Louise says Amina told her she’d been under the impression Gerald was divorced.
In terms of his will Louise was his only heir – that’s why she was responsible for the payments on the house he’d bought for Amina. She made four overdue payments then paid the outstanding balance of more than R571 000 on the bond.
Louise now wants to sell the house, but to do that it first has to be registered in her name. This can’t be done at the moment because Amina’s name is listed alongside Gerald’s on the title deed for the house.
Louise has served Amina an eviction notice and she was supposed to be out of the house by the end of December last year. But Amina refuses to vacate the property as she’s fighting the court order that termed her marriage to Gerald null and void.
The events of the past few months have been difficult for Louise, who runs a laundry at a private hospital. “I don’t sleep, I don’t eat. I just go to work and come home and I can barely concentrate,” she says.
Yes, she’s bitter, she admits. “Not towards him. But I’m hurt and angry that he would do this.”
At the place in her garden where her husband killed himself she planted a cycad with little roses around it. She often sits there to think.
“I won’t go to his grave again because that’s not where he is,” she says. “But I sit here and wrestle with him.” *Not her real name
Amina declined YOU’s request for an interview and wouldn’t comment on the matter.