HARRY, PRINCE
The prince has opened up about the devastating shock of losing his mother and how counselling helped him to cope
T WAS one of the most heartrending images from a day of monumental mourning: 12-year-old Prince Harry walking stoically between his brother and father, head bowed and cheeks flushed as the hearse carrying his mother’s body made its way to London’s Westminster Abbey. And on that coffin was an envelope with a single word: “Mummy”. To the watching world, it spoke volumes about the loss Harry and his brother, William (then 15), had suffered.
After that day the media were instructed to keep their distance and allow the young princes room to grieve and grow – but each time Harry appeared in public he just seemed to be getting on with it. Stiff upper lip and all that, as has long been the British – and especially the royal family’s – way.
Yet behind the rakish smile and devilmay-care attitude lay a soul in trouble – so much so that Harry (32) has now said he came “very close to a complete mental breakdown on numerous occasions”.
“I can safely say that losing my mum at the age of 12 and therefore shutting down all of my emotions for the past 20 years has had quite a serious effect on not only my personal life but my work as well.”
The fifth in line to the throne made the revelations in a candid podcast interview with journalist Bryony Gordon of the UK’s Telegraph, opening up about his grief after Princess Diana’s death in a car crash in a Parisian tunnel in 1997.
“My way of dealing with it was sticking my head in the sand, refusing to ever think about my mom because why would that help?” he says.
“I thought it’s only going to make you sad; it’s not going to bring her back. So from an emotional side, I was like, ‘Right, don’t ever let your emotions be part of anything’.”
He goes on to say he was a “typical 20-, 25-, 28-year-old running around going ‘Life is great’, or ‘Life is fine’ .”
And to all intents and purposes he seemed to be having a whale of a time: holidaying in exotic locations, being pursued by pretty women and partying heartily – and sometimes nakedly – in laddish lark-abouts.
But he also seemed well-balanced, throwing himself into charity work to continue his mother’s legacy and earning respect as a member of the British armed services.
But all along he was ignoring his inner feelings – a little voice that was trying to tell him everything wasn’t fine. And it eventually led to “two years of total chaos” in which he felt angry all the time.
“I just couldn’t put my finger on it. I just didn’t know what was wrong with me.” Harry and his late mother, Princess Diana, on an outing to a theme park in Surrey, England. ARRY then started talking to family and friends. “All of a sudden, all of this grief that I have never processed started to come to the forefront and I was, like, there’s actually a lot of stuff here that I need to deal with.”
He credits William (34) with encouraging him to seek professional help when he realised he was in trouble.
“Some of the best people or easiest people to speak to is a shrink – someone you’ve never met before. You sit on the sofa and say, ‘Listen, I don’t actually need your advice. Can you just listen?’ And you just let it all rip.”
He says boxing has also helped him to vent. “That really saved me because I was on the verge of punching someone, so being able to punch someone who had pads was certainly easier.”
Staying quiet about any emotional suffering only makes it worse, he believes, and he urges people in the same position to find help. “You’ll be surprised, firstly, how much support you get.”
He’s been heaped with praise for opening up about mental health issues and helping to banish the stigma attached to them – especially among men. His comments came as new research in Britain showed men with depression are three times more likely to commit suicide than women.
Cal Strode, spokesperson for the UK’s Mental Health Foundation, says it’s vital for men to talk about their emotions. “Men can often feel isolated and unable to tell people how they’re feeling – there’s a culture of men shouldering pain alone.
“We need to challenge toxic ideas of masculinity that prevent openness and vulnerability in men. It takes real courage to be open and honest about mental health.”
And Harry has done just that. Rosie