HOW DO I TURN MY LIFE AROUND?

I grew up in a bad neighbourhood where everybody bullied someone. In the environment I grew up in violence came naturally and I learnt to survive by being sneaky and dishonest. I even participated in a date rape along with some friends and at the time thought it was a laugh.

Then the only person I cared for died a horrible death – my grandmother was murdered while I was out with my friends. She was a precious human being and tried her best to guide me to becoming a decent person. Now I feel I owe it to her to turn my life around and become the man she wanted me to be. But I don’t know where to start. How do I turn my life around? Renaldo, email The most important thing that needs to happen has happened – you’ve decided you want to do it! If you succeed in turning your life around, your grandmother’s death won’t have been in vain. I’m sure she’d be incredibly proud of you simply because you’re starting to think differently about things and want something else for your life.

It’s going to be extremely difficult – if not impossible – to change your life if you don’t first end the relationships with friends in this world that’s so violent and full of lies. So that’s where you need to start.

You need to build new friendships with people who have the same values as you and want the same things out of life. The path you’ve chosen isn’t an easy one – doing things the right way usually means you’re doing it the difficult way, the way that takes effort, instead of a quick way that involves stealing, violence and being dishonest.

Once you’ve achieved something you’ve worked hard for and made sacrifices for, you’ll feel the unique satisfaction of reaching a goal with plain hard work. But remember it’s going to take a lot of commitment and perseverance.

Don’t give up when the going gets tough. Surround yourself with the kind of people who’ll support you and keep you focused on your dream.