ADDICTED TO SEXTING
A rehab centre in Holland helps young people to overcome their dependence on sexting and online gaming
IN THE good old days if a guy and a girl wanted to get up close and personal they’d have to talk to each other face to face – or by phone – then maybe arrange a secret rendezvous and hope they didn’t get caught in the act. These days sexual experimentation is a decidedly different affair. “I’ll show you mine if you show me yours” is as easy as owning a smartphone and having two opposable thumbs with which to flirt, photograph and video.
To the uninitiated, it’s called sexting – the act of sending sexy texts to people you fancy. And to some young people it’s an addiction as damaging and all-consuming as online gambling.
It’s such a problem in Europe, in fact, that a clinic in the Netherlands recently introduced a treatment programme for sexting addiction – provided patients can afford €64 000 (about R928 000) for a 10-week course.
Sexting addiction has taken over the lives of about 20 percent of the boys and young men at the Yes We Can youth clinic, says founder Jan Willem Poot (40), who’s a former drug addict.
“They’ve isolated themselves in their bedrooms, playing computer games and sexting for 16 hours a day.
“It’s not so much an addiction to sexting but more an addiction to the feeling they get from sending the picture,” Poot adds.
“The boy or girl on the other side of the phone or computer is saying, ‘Hey, you’re looking good. I want to meet you,’ and that feeling, that dopamine rush, is more important than any consequences that could come from sending another picture.
“It’s exactly the same thing we see when young girls go clubbing week in and week out and start kissing strange guys or, worse, having sex in the toilets of the club. It’s that endorsement: ‘I’m pretty; I’m wanted; they like me’.”
The Yes We Can clinic is in Hilvarenbeek, a small town near Rotterdam. And yes, the name was inspired by the slogan for former US president Barack Obama’s presidential campaign in 2008.
The facility, which moved earlier this year to the sprawling seven-hectare estate, is the only one of its kind in Europe, specialising in treating 24 “fellows” at a time, aged between 13 and 25, for addictions and complex behavioural disorders. “Fellows” is the clinic’s friendlier term for patients, or clients, Poot says. At Yes We Can, fellows are banned from access to cellphones, tablets, MP3 players and laptops. Cigarette smoking is permitted but not sex, coffee or fizzy cooldrinks. Contact with family isn’t allowed for the first five weeks of treatment, which includes a rigorous regime of three hours of physical activity daily – mountain biking, boxing and soccer are all on the menu. The rest of the day consists of group therapy, one-on-one counselling sessions and psychoeducation, which involves lectures, talks and documentary screenings. By doing this from 6.45 am to 10 pm seven days a week, “structure, hope and good prospects return – step by step”, Poot says. There are four 30-minute slots of free time daily, when fellows can smoke and socialise, but they are under 24-hour supervision
‘Screen addiction will be the No 1 addiction within five years’