HOW CAN I FIND MYSELF?

Q I’m 25 and have never been in a relationship with a guy. I’ve been dating girls but I’m not really comfortable with that. I feel like I don’t understand myself or who I am. How do I figure out who I am? Thembeka, email A Obviously your relationships with women have not satisfied you totally – if they did, you wouldn’t be wondering about your sexual preference. It seems you feel you can’t really say whether you’re gay or not as you haven’t explored the heterosexual side of life or even dated a man.

Why don’t you date some guys and see how it feels? One can only make an informed choice once you’ve investigated all the options.

The psychologist Sigmund Freud believed that during our sexual development there’s a homosexual phase – when a young person feels sexually attracted to people of the same gender. It doesn’t mean the person is gay. It’s simply a normal phase every human being goes through in their sexual development. So perhaps you just have not moved past this phase yet.