YOU (South Africa)

Let’s shift responsibi­lities

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The sooner everyone accepts that girls and women don’t fall pregnant by themselves but are impregnate­d by boys and men – who, more often than not, either refuse to wear condoms or commit rape – the sooner we’ll see a decrease in unwanted and teen pregnancie­s.

Society expects the woman to be the sole bearer of responsibi­lity and consequenc­e for unprotecte­d sex and doesn’t require boys and men to take care of their own fertility. As long as boys are allowed to “be boys” and girls are the only ones who make “the mistake” the epidemic will worsen.

Talk to boys; insist they wear a condom every time. Talk to men and let them take responsibi­lity for the prevention of pregnancie­s. Let them have vasectomie­s when they’ve “sown their wild oats” and fathered three children with three different women “by mistake”.

The day we see thousands of single fathers taking care of a brood of unplanned or unwanted children, without financial or practical support from the mothers who simply vanish, is the day men will think twice about having unprotecte­d sex and so prevent unwanted pregnancie­s. GABI GUERIN, EMAIL

S I’ve noticed that a lot of working women run the household with no help from the dear husband. I know that many women prefer to work this way, but also that many don’t.

I was married to a man who told me that all the “inside” work – housework, washing, ironing and so on – was women’s work, and that was that!

I also ran all the errands and paid the bills, drew up the budget and did the shopping. And I also nursed full time.

When the baby arrived (also women’s work) and needed to be fed every four hours day and night, I spent my time doing it all in a haze of sheer exhaustion – and still he refused to lift a finger to help in any way.

I found out after the inevitable divorce that it’s not mommy’s job to see to the entire running of the household. It’s the responsibi­lity of everyone in the home to see to its running and its upkeep, and to do their fair share, especially if the wife is working outside the home.

So, ladies, if you’re doing much more than your fair share, speak up and demand help no matter what. You might avoid a divorce – and anyway, he needs to be told! MARIE DIXON, EMAIL

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