Bullies: helping your kid to cope .
Parents often feel helpless when their children are bullied – here’s how you can help your kids deal with cruel behaviour and unkind words
AS A parent you want to protect your kids. But you can’t be right next to them all the time and once they’re interacting with other kids they’re likely to be exposed to bullies. So what do you do when your 10-year-old tells you she’s being picked on at school? What do you say to your 12-year-old son when he says other kids tease him or don’t like him?
It can be overwhelming for parents when their child is being bullied and they want to help them deal with it but don’t know how. That’s what prompted educational psychologist Jo Hamilton to write The Ultimate Assertiveness Toolbox for Kids. It gives children handy tools to help them stand up for themselves when they’re bullied, whether on the playground or on social media.
Hamilton says the tools – there are 20 in total – can be taught from the toddler years but are particularly useful for school-going kids. Older kids can even read the book themselves.
Here are a few practical tools from the book that you can teach your child. What is it? It might sound obvious but eye contact is important if you want someone to listen to you. Without eye contact the person you’re talking to is almost certainly thinking about something else. They won’t be listening to what you’re saying or value it. How to use it The Eye Contact Tool shows the person you’re talking to that you’re not afraid of them and that you mean business. Now, you actually might be afraid of them so a trick is to look at a spot between their eyes above the bridge of their nose. This will look to them like you’re making eye contact.
When you’re being assertive your eye contact needs to be firm and strong. It might help to imagine your eyes are firing laser beams or fire balls. Don’t let your look waver, especially if you’re standing up to a scary kid or someone who’s confident they’re in charge of you.
Think about the look your parents give you when they really want you to listen to them. That’s what you’re aiming for. When to use it All the time! You should always make eye contact when you talk to someone but it’s especially important