Ask Dr Louise

YOU (South Africa) - - CONTENTS -

I’m 22 and have had com­plete strangers com­pli­ment me on my beauty. My par­ents have brought me up to be­lieve it’s my right to be ad­mired but my friends tell me I’m ar­ro­gant and that one day when I’m older I’ll re­gret not hav­ing fo­cused on de­vel­op­ing my per­son­al­ity. I don’t un­der­stand why I should have to do that.

I made the de­ci­sion early on that I’m not go­ing to study and have a ca­reer as I’d rather be a lady of leisure and let some­one else pay for my fun. There are so many men who want to date me but I have to tell most of them to leave me alone. I’m fussy and if a guy doesn’t have a cer­tain look or lots of money, I’m not in­ter­ested.

I don’t want a nor­mal guy – he must be ei­ther ex­cep­tion­ally good-look­ing or re­ally rich! Laraine, email

Un­for­tu­nately, beauty fades with time – this is dif­fi­cult to be­lieve when you’re young but it’s a fact of life.

It’s up to you how you choose to live your life but bear in mind that hav­ing a ca­reer will give you in­de­pen­dence.

There’s more to a per­son than just their body, how­ever beau­ti­ful it may be to look at.

What some­one’s like when you’re with them – how kind, nur­tur­ing, funny or in­ter­est­ing they are – is what re­ally at­tracts or re­pels peo­ple. A charm­ing per­son­al­ity and a kind, car­ing na­ture will al­ways be ad­mired, whereas looks fade.

The next time you’re ready to dis­miss a guy be­cause he’s not good-look­ing or rich enough, stop and think about the qual­i­ties you’d want in a good part­ner – and think­ing even fur­ther ahead, in a hus­band and fa­ther. Take time to get to know peo­ple for them­selves be­fore you dis­miss them out of hand.

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