YOU (South Africa)

MY WIFE DOESN’T UNDERSTAND MY PASSION

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From an early age I knew I wanted to become a veterinary surgeon. I remember as a small boy picking up birds with broken wings and taking them home. I was overjoyed when I was accepted to do veterinary studies and every moment of it was like a dream come true.

I qualified with flying colours and in my final year I met my wife. When we were dating she pretended to share my passion. I told her I wanted to specialise in wild animals and possibly work in the Kruger National Park or another game park. But when I enrolled to do post-graduate studies next year, my wife said she won’t support me as she’s not going to “sit in the bush and grow old among the animals”.

She wants me to start an urban practice in an affluent area so she can be in the city and have all her friends around her.

I’m shocked. What’s happened to the sweet, caring woman I married? How did I misread the signs so badly? Rain, email

If you feel so strongly about it, you should follow your heart. Tell your wife you intend to specialise next year and pursue your dream as you told her when you met her.

Explain that you love her, but you’re not willing to give up on something you’ve dreamt about for so long.

There are ways in which compromise­s can be made – she could stay in a nearby town while you work in a game park. You can make it work if you both want to. It really depends on whether you care enough about each other’s happiness.

If you’re not willing to give up your life’s dream and she’s not willing to compromise, then you’ll both have to walk away from your marriage.

‘Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts’ – FORMER BRITISH PRIME MINISTER WINSTON CHURCHILL

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