YOU (South Africa) - - LIFESTYLE -

From an early age I knew I wanted to be­come a ve­teri­nary sur­geon. I re­mem­ber as a small boy pick­ing up birds with bro­ken wings and tak­ing them home. I was over­joyed when I was ac­cepted to do ve­teri­nary stud­ies and ev­ery mo­ment of it was like a dream come true.

I qual­i­fied with fly­ing colours and in my fi­nal year I met my wife. When we were dat­ing she pre­tended to share my pas­sion. I told her I wanted to spe­cialise in wild an­i­mals and pos­si­bly work in the Kruger Na­tional Park or an­other game park. But when I en­rolled to do post-grad­u­ate stud­ies next year, my wife said she won’t sup­port me as she’s not go­ing to “sit in the bush and grow old among the an­i­mals”.

She wants me to start an ur­ban prac­tice in an af­flu­ent area so she can be in the city and have all her friends around her.

I’m shocked. What’s hap­pened to the sweet, car­ing woman I mar­ried? How did I mis­read the signs so badly? Rain, email

If you feel so strongly about it, you should fol­low your heart. Tell your wife you in­tend to spe­cialise next year and pur­sue your dream as you told her when you met her.

Ex­plain that you love her, but you’re not will­ing to give up on some­thing you’ve dreamt about for so long.

There are ways in which com­pro­mises can be made – she could stay in a nearby town while you work in a game park. You can make it work if you both want to. It re­ally de­pends on whether you care enough about each other’s hap­pi­ness.

If you’re not will­ing to give up your life’s dream and she’s not will­ing to com­pro­mise, then you’ll both have to walk away from your mar­riage.

‘Suc­cess is not fi­nal, fail­ure is not fa­tal: it is the courage to con­tinue that counts’ – FOR­MER BRI­TISH PRIME MIN­IS­TER WIN­STON CHURCHILL

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