HOW TO STOP BEING A MOANING MINNIE

Of course we all have reason to complain sometimes, but if it’s become a habit you need to break the cycle. The good news is, it’s possible to retrain your brain and get out of the cycle of negativity. BECOME AWARE “First you need to get into the habit of becoming more aware of when you have negative thoughts and tend to complain, as well as to whom – because certain people can trigger negative thoughts more than others,” says Johannesburg-based clinical psychologist Levandri Pillay. CULTIVATE AN ATTITUDE OF GRATITUDE When you feel like complaining, shift gears by focusing instead on something you’re grateful for. Not only will this help you move away from negative thought patterns, it also reduces levels of the stress hormone cortisol. Research conducted at the University of California found people who worked to cultivate gratitude on a daily basis experienced improved mood and energy as well as substantially less anxiety due to lower cortisol levels. STOP AND THINK Pretoria-based clinical psychologist Jaco van Zyl suggests that before voicing a complaint you ask yourself the following : Will expressing this thought and addressing it with this particular person solve the issue? If the answer is yes, then you should speak up. If not, let it go. FOCUS ON SOLUTIONS “Think about whether there are solutions to the source of your frustration,” Van Zyl says. “If so, focus on bringing about those solutions. And if there’s no solution, acknowledge and accept that there are certain things you have no control over.” LOOK ON THE BRIGHT SIDE Another question to consider asking before off-loading is whether there’s something positive to be said instead. “Look for ways to remind yourself of the positives in any situation or good experiences you might have missed due to a negatively attuned perception,” Van Zyl advises. “This will help shift your focus to a more positive mindset.”