HOW DO I REGAIN MY CONFIDENCE?

Q I was extremely depressed for two years and in this time I just stayed in my room and didn’t do anything. I felt I’d never find my way out of it again but my mother eventually took me to a psychiatrist and with his help I’m now getting better.

But those two years of my life robbed me of my belief in myself. I don’t have the self-confidence to apply for a job again.

I lost my job during the time I was depressed as I simply didn’t go to work and didn’t let my manager know what was going on. What can I do to regain my confidence? Kenny, email A What you’re experiencing now is normal after having been so ill. It would also have happened if you’d had a physical illness or injury that kept you at home. One’s social skills and confidence tend to wane when you’re isolated from other people as you start questioning your abilities and skills. Depression also erodes cognitive functions such as concentration, short-term memory, motivation and so on – and these all contribute to loss of confidence.

It might help if for the rest of the year you do some voluntary work, perhaps at a shelter for homeless people or other volunteer centre.

This will help you to ease into being busy again without the anxiety of having to meet expectations in a work environment. It will help to build your self-confidence and at the same time help you not to get too caught up in your own insecurities but rather focus on other things.

You might even find that while doing voluntary work you meet someone who’s willing to give you an employment opportunity.