Yes, you can survive exam time
Exams are upon us – here’s advice for parents on how to help your child to cope and thrive
THE tears, the tantrums, the anxiety, the moods – and that’s just mom and dad! Yes, exams are upon us and it’s time for learners to get stuck into their studies in the final push before the end of the year. It’s a stressful time for everyone in the family. Learners face a mountain of work, parents need to create an environment conducive to learning and siblings have to pipe down so as not to distract brothers or sisters.
Still, there are ways to ease exam fever and help your child to get through this period. Not to mention yourself. HELP, MY CHILD’S SO STRESSED! Tension during exams isn’t necessarily harmful as mild forms of stress can be motivating and help keep kids alert. But if your child’s stress level is off the charts their ability to prepare for exams can be impaired. Dr Ramya Mohan, a psychiatrist and educator, advises parents to look out for these warning signs: Trouble falling sleep or getting up in the morning. Erratic or poor eating. Constantly in a bad mood, cranky and lacking in confidence. Tummy upsets, headaches and flaring up of skin conditions such as eczema. Study skills expert Eileen Tracy advises parents to affirm the value of good work, not hard work. Tell your child that preparing for exams doesn’t just mean putting in long hours. “Students who take breaks and prioritise perform better than swots whose idea of revision is to learn their syllabus off by heart,” she says.
Parents should also avoid aggravating fears. “Even a well-intentioned question such as, ‘Shouldn’t you be working?’ can send waves of panic to your child,” Tracy says. “Teenagers are highly sensitive to their parents’ communications although some will hide this sensitivity well.” HELP! MY CHILD’S SO LAID-BACK! You’ve nagged, pleaded and threatened, but your child still views exams as nothing more than an inconvenient blip on the horizon. What’s a parent to do? Tracy advises against issuing vague warnings, such as, “You’ll never get a proper job if you carry on like this.”
Warnings should be specific to be effective, for example, “To get into the university course you want you need 75% for maths.”
She also advises
against bargaining or emotional blackmail. “By saying ‘I will/won’t buy you that Xbox if you pass/fail’ you’re implying that you regard education as intrinsically dull or pointless, and that you’re desperate about grades.”
Remember that attitude matters more than grades – this will help you all to relax and, paradoxically, your teenager will perform better.
“Disconnect your teen’s sense of self from their grades: getting A’s doesn’t make them a star, nor are they a failure if they fail,” she says.
Tracy suggests anxious parents do a little introspection. “Reflect on your own experience of exams to avoid passing down unprocessed anxiety or guilt.” WHAT YOUR CHILD NEEDS FROM YOU “Parents need to ensure a calm, supportive and positive home environment during exams so the child doesn’t feel any undue pressure or stress,” says Melissa Ferreira, an educational psychologist. Remember the environment at school is probably tense and panicky so it’s important for your child that you seem relaxed. Educational psychologist Catherine Radloff suggests parents try to replicate the exam setting in their child’s place of study: an uncluttered work space, the correct stationery and quiet working conditions. Although experts advise parents to encourage independence, parental involvement – such as showing an interest in their exam timetable – can make a significant difference. “Research shows children with parents who are involved in their learning and education seem to get higher marks,” Ferreira says. “They also have more confidence and a better attitude towards studying.”
Parents also need to be 100% certain their children know how to study for exams and have found studying techniques that work best for them, educational psychologist Melanie Hartgill says.
“This includes the skill of summarising, identifying key points, creating mind maps and starting revision early enough.” STOCK UP ON HEALTHY FOOD Good nutrition should be part of any study plan because it helps your child to do better. Deane Alban, a US-based health expert and co-founder of Be Brain Fit website, which advocates for cognitive and mental health, recommends eating these foods during exams:
Antioxidant-rich fruits and vegetables, especially berries, citrus fruit and peppers.
Protein sources high in omega-3 fatty acids such as red meat, eggs, poultry and oily fish.
Complex carbohydrates such as carrots, potatoes, wholegrain bread and oatmeal. Good fats such as those found in nuts, seeds, avocados and olives. ENSURE ENOUGH REST AND SLEEP Children should take regular study breaks – five to 10 minutes every half an hour – and this should preferably not involve screen time. Physical activity, such as skipping or running a few laps in the garden, is the best way for kids to spend study breaks. Plan for sleep. “When you have to get up at a certain time, count back the number of hours you want to sleep and then add half an hour,” Unisa’s Student Health and Wellness clinic’s website advises regarding setting bedtimes.
“The extra half an hour is important – we often forget about the time it takes to brush teeth, set the alarm clock, and so on.” TIPS FOR FIRST-TIMERS Children generally start writing exams in Grade 4. Many parents of first-time exam writers are left feeling anxious about whether their little ones are up to the challenge. Ferreira’s helpful tips will ensure your child aces his or her first exam period:
Start early so you can break study time into short sessions and spread learning over several days.
Make learning fun in the form of a quiz and allow some movement during breaks. Not all children can sit still while learning – some enjoy throwing a ball while reciting facts.
Avoid distractions and ensure good lighting and an appropriate space in which to learn.