Love, respect and no regrets

Having just read the letter from Loving Wife (YOU Say, 14 December), I have tears running down my face.

My husband passed away four years ago. He always felt guilty as he never had a stable job. He did all the little things Loving Wife mentions, and a million more: he kept the home immaculate, did all the repairs and treated me with love and respect.

I miss him so very much! PAT, PORT ELIZABETH S I can so relate to Loving Wife. It reminded me of a very good friend of mine whose husband suffered a sudden aneurysm. The doctor suggested to her that she tell him how she felt as he was not expected to live. Her answer: “But we told each other every day that we loved each other”, so there’s nothing more to tell him.

How right she was, with no regrets. My late husband and I were like them and we were constantly aware of the other one’s feelings, so there were no unspoken words when he passed away. My thoughts are with you at this difficult time. MAUREEN, LAKESIDE

Loving Wife’s letter really touched me. One can tell she’s in so much pain as she tries to cope with the sadness of seeing her husband suffering after so many years in a special marriage. I’m sure her husband has always known how much she appreciates him and he sees the love in her eyes.

Words of appreciation never happened in my 47-year marriage, on either side, and I thought that supporting my spouse financially and emotionally, without any reciprocation, would be enough.

I was wrong, because I now have to start my life over on my own after finding out that he’s been having an affair with a girl less than half his age for at least a decade.

It’s hard to accept that he always refused to discuss the little or big problems and he chose a double life of lies and deceit to get the gratification he obviously needed.

Sadly, he has no regrets or remorse for the ultimate pain he caused his family. I take solace in the love and unwavering support of so many lifetime friends, and I wish the same for you. EMPATHETIC, EMAIL