MY MOTHER WANTS TO CONTROL MY LIFE

I’m 42 and I have an ongoing issue with my mother, who feels she has to be in control of my life.

I don’t have friends and whenever I’ve been in a relationship she calls me a slut and a whore. She has to approve my every move or else she throws a tantrum and swears and performs – which only gets worse if I ignore it. Other than going to work I’m not allowed a life of my own.

She says I’m a sinner and she doesn’t want to be a sinner’s mother. I’ve tried leaving home but she denigrated me with the rest of the family. She refuses to see herself as a problem and simply threatens me into doing what she wants me to do.

I want to be treated like an adult and make my own decisions. Roseline, email

You’re empowering your mother by continuing to allow her to rule your life and manipulate you this way.

After all, what can she actually do if you don’t listen to her? Even if she speaks badly of you to your family – so what?

They most probably already know she’s a possessive, manipulative person.

Walk out of her life and don’t look back. Focus on yourself and simply start making your own decisions.

You’re not a child and should be running your own life. If you feel you don’t have the psychological strength to do it, consult with a psychologist who can help you process the emotions you’ll be going through as you distance yourself from her.

You may experience feelings of guilt but don’t let that cause you to go back into the emotional cage she kept you in.