I LOVE HIM LIKE A BROTHER

Q: I’m 20 and have been in a relationship with someone for the past two years. We’ve known each other for 18 years and I’m not entirely sure how I even ended up in a relationship with him. He never asked me. It just evolved, I suppose. The thing is that I do love him, but as a brother.

I realise that staying in this relationship is unfair to him but I’m also terrified of hurting him. I know I would lose his friendship, and he knows me better than anybody else in my life (and vice versa). In theory we should be perfect for each other – all our lives everybody has told us that we are – but I don’t love him in a romantic way.

I keep hoping he’ll find someone new or realise we’re more like siblings. He even calls my mother “Mom”. What should I do? Not in love, email

A: Your gut feeling is right – you should tell him the truth. Explain to him that while you love him very much, it’s not the right kind of love for a romantic involvement.

Being a good friend also means doing what you know is best for your friend regardless of what you might lose in the process, and you should tell him so.

He might be hurt and angry but as time goes by he’ll hopefully understand you told him because you cared and not because you wanted to hurt him. Although the truth can be cruel at times, it’s better than not telling the truth and having that lead to complications later.