I’M WORRIED HE’LL LEAVE ME

Q: I’ve fallen in love with a married man and we’ve started a relationship. We simply can’t seem to get enough of each other. I’m in my thirties and he’s a businessman and politician in his late forties. Luckily he travels a lot because of work so we get to see each other often.

He says I should be patient as he can’t get divorced now because of his children, who are still young. He says when he’s no longer in politics he can file for divorce. I’m so crazy about him I’m willing to wait for him forever but I’m worried I might end up being dumped because he’s had a previous love whom he dumped when he was tired of the affair. What should I do? Kate, email

A: Gambling on a married man is a poor bet, especially if he has children. And this man doesn’t have a good track record. Consider that for him there are likely to be financial concerns because the estate often has to be divided between husband and wife, which might leave him with less than he’s willing to have – especially at his age.

A married man must fall very hard for and truly love his mistress before he’s willing to forfeit the “trimmings” of marriage. The bottom line is, he has a lot to lose if he files for divorce. Remember, what a married man tells his mistress about his marriage may not be true. You don’t really know what’s happening in his home.

Consider also that breaking up a home and being the reason for a couple getting divorced isn’t an easy burden to carry. Are you really willing to forfeit the happiness of his family for your own?

The reasons above are why married men should be avoided. Your best option is to get out of the relationship as soon as possible – no matter how exciting it might be now – to spare yourself a lot of potential unhappiness in the future. If you want to stay in the relationship, you must be willing to pay the price.