LAUGH A LITTLE

Fancy yourself a joker? Email original jokes to chuckles@you.co.za or send them to Chuckles, YOU, PO Box 7167, Roggebaai 8012, and we may publish them on this page.

IT GETS WORSE

One day little Johnny is digging a hole in the backyard. The next-door neighbour spots this and decides to investigate.

“Hello Johnny,” he says, “what are you up to?”

“My goldfish died and I’m going to bury him,” Johnny replies.

“That’s a really big hole for a goldfish, isn’t it?” the neighbour asks.

“Well, that’s because he’s inside your cat.”

WORKS EVERY TIME

A man approaches a stunning-looking woman in a huge supermarket and says, “I’ve lost my wife among the aisles. Would you mind chatting to me for a few minutes?” “Why?” the woman says. “Because every time I talk to a beautiful woman my wife appears out of nowhere.”

THE WRONG TREE

A jogger is running past some houses when he comes across a fierce-looking dog blocking his way on the pavement. Then he notices an old guy sitting on a porch, eyeing him.

The jogger stops running. “Excuse me, sir,” he says, “but does your dog bite?” The old man takes his time before replying. “Nope,” he says. So the jogger continues his run but seconds later the dog leaps up and, snarling and growling, nips the jogger on the leg.

In pain he turns to the old man and shouts, “I thought you said your dog didn’t bite!” “Well,” the old man mutters, “it’s not my dog.”

LOCKING HORNS

A woman from the city is visiting a farm for the first time and is amazed by all the sights.

“Excuse me,” she asks the farmer, pointing at one of the animals, “why doesn’t this cow have horns?”

The farmer cocks his head then begins in a patient tone. “Well, ma’am, cattle can cause a lot of damage with their horns. So sometimes we trim them down so they can’t cause any harm. However,” he continues, “the reason this particular animal doesn’t have any horns is because it’s a horse.”