HE’S NOT THE MAN I FELL IN LOVE WITH
My boyfriend and I have been together for three years. In the beginning he was kind, generous and incredibly romantic. I thought I was the luckiest woman alive.
After a year and a half he had a car accident and sustained a brain injury. Doctors said his personality might change somewhat but I didn’t expect a monster.
He’s now selfish, becomes angry quickly and doesn’t want to do anything but stay home. He’s changed from a fun-loving, caring and friendly guy into someone who’s sullen and moody and has a temper that flares up over nothing. And he doesn’t recall his outbursts. When I tell him he says I’m lying or trying to manipulate him.
Will the kind, gentle, loving guy I knew ever return? The doctor says I should give it time but it’s almost two years now and it almost seems as if he’s getting worse. Katy, email A brain trauma can have devastating effects depending on the area of the brain affected and the severity of the injury. A change of personality is one of the general effects of moderate to severe brain injury, as are the development of a mood disorder, borderline personality disorder, phobias or anxiety disorders. Cognitive difficulties such as memory and concentration problems could also occur.
Rehabilitation after a brain injury takes a long time, with the optimal period considered to be two years. But, having worked with brain-injured patients, I’ve seen it’s not as predictable as that. Some patients continue to show remarkable recovery even after two years, while others plateau.
Your boyfriend needs to seek professional help to ensure he gets the appropriate rehabilitation treatment. Medication can be used to improve his mood swings and anger outbursts. Decide if you’re willing to stick with him and support him through it. The person you knew is gone forever.
Do you think you could learn to like and love the new person? If not, get out of the relationship.