SHOULD I SIMPLY WALK AWAY?

Q I met someone three months ago who seemed to be really into me when we met. We’d both been invited to a wedding and were seated at the same table. We talked the whole afternoon and evening, danced and had a wonderful time. At the end of the evening she gave me her number so I could contact her and I was thrilled as I thought that I’d love to see her again.

But when I contacted her she told me she was separated from her husband when I met her but that they’d since reconciled.

She also said she still wants to meet up with me and spend time together as she’s confused about her relationship with her husband.

Should I go out with her, or should I rather bury my feelings and walk away? Daniel, email

A Although you seemed to have a wonderful time together and clearly enjoyed each other’s company, the fact that she’s back with her husband is a red flag. You don’t want to step into something that could see you hurt in the future. She has to give attention to her marriage first and decide once and for all if she wants to continue with that relationship.

Contact her and tell her you’ve decided that although you like her a lot and would like to pursue the relationship, this is not the time. Say that you don’t want to be part of a triangle and that she needs to make up her mind about whether she wants to divorce her husband or stay with him. Ask her not to contact you again in the future unless she’s divorced.

This will be difficult for you as you clearly like her, but it’s the best way to safeguard yourself against being hurt.