I NEED TO HAVE MY OWN LIFE

My parents are loving and caring and did their best to educate me and my siblings. I’m 32 now and find my parents simply can’t accept that I’m a grown-up woman with a life of my own.

They’re always telling me what I should and shouldn’t do and it’s really starting to get to me. I’m well educated and have a mind of my own and can’t go through life simply following their commands.

When I speak to them about it they say they just want the best for me and want to protect me from the hurtful things in life.

Then, if I carry on making a big thing about it, I end up looking like a jerk and as if I’m throwing their love in their face.

How do I have my own life without alienating my parents? Annette, email Unfortunately, many parents see their children only through parental glasses and as a result never see them as grown-ups. It’s understandable as it’s difficult for them to let go and allow you to make your own mistakes. But it’s a vital part of life as it’s through our mistakes that we learn.

The next time your parents tell you what to do, listen to their advice and thank them for it but make up your own mind. Don’t get into an argument with them about it. Just make your own decisions and don’t apologise or explain.

See your parents as people who can give you valuable life advice. But it’s just that – advice, not instructions. Be gracious toward them however and make them feel their advice is appreciated even if you don’t follow it.

Your parents may feel you don’t need them anymore and so they want to hold on to you in some way. Assure them they’ll always have a place in your life and that you cherish their advice.

‘Friends show their love in times of trouble, and not in happiness’ ‒ GREEK POET EURIPIDES