OUR RELATIONSHIP SHOULD BE SACRED

My wife and I are both in our late twenties and have been married for two years. She has two sisters and their family are very close. Before our marriage she used to see her sisters every day as well as talking to them by phone – they shared everything and told each other all about their lives.

I’ve now discovered – thanks to a remark made by one of the sisters – that she even tells them about the most intimate details of our lives. I have a serious problem with that because surely there must be certain things that are shared only between a wife and her husband?

My wife says she has nothing to hide and that she’s always told her sisters everything and sees no reason to stop doing so now. What do I do? This is causing a rift between us and has resulted in me having trust issues with her. Benjamin, email Certain things a couple share are indeed personal and private and should be kept between them only. While it’s true that when you get married your spouse’s family are also part of the bargain, this doesn’t mean it’s a communal arrangement where other family members have the right to be involved in the relationship. The marriage itself is something sacred between the two people involved.

Tell your wife that your trust in her is being eroded by her sharing details of your marriage with her sisters. Explain that you believe there are things that should be private.

Also explain that her sisters are hearing only one side of the story and that this may colour their perception of you, which isn’t fair as every story has two sides.

If your wife still doesn’t understand what the problem is and persists in sharing everything with her sisters, suggest the two of you have counselling to resolve things. It might help her to hear the point of view of an objective professional person.