Coma mom can’t remember dead baby
An accident put her into a coma and killed her daughter – now Shanei doesn’t recall even having had a child
WHENEVER he visits her she seems in good spirits, chatting and laughing despite serious injuries that have left her unable to walk. Renier Stols knows he should be relieved his ex-girlfriend is out of her coma but every time he catches a glimpse of the tattoo on her right shoulder blade his heart sinks.
Etched into Shanei Norris’ skin in bold ink is “Reanei”, the name of their daughter who was born 16 months ago.
But Shanei (22) has no recollection of the horrific car crash she and her child were involved in on 23 March – and no idea Renier (28) spent hours waiting alone beside the baby’s lifeless body.
By the time he arrived at the accident scene between Drie Riviere and Vereeniging in Gauteng that Friday morning, paramedics had already freed Shanei from the wreck and taken her to Sebokeng Hospital.
His baby daughter’s body was on the back seat, covered in a blanket.
“Her body was still warm,” Renier says, tears welling up as he chats to us at the hospital.
Annelie Hunter Smith – who’s like a mom to Shanei, whose parents have both passed away – is also taking strain. Like everyone else she was relieved when, after two weeks in a coma, Shanei regained consciousness.
But happiness soon turned to disbelief when it became evident Shanei had no recollection of ever having a daughter.
Early in May memories of Reanei slowly started coming back into focus for Shanei – but she still wasn’t able to recall the nightmare crash and explained her daughter’s absence by insisting she was simply away at crèche.
“Doctors haven’t been able to test her for amnesia because she’s not strong enough yet – but we think she’s blocking memories,” Annelie says.
Complicating matters even further is that Shanei speaks to Renier as if they’re still a couple, even though they split up in 2017 after dating for just more than a year. He plays along because he doesn’t have the heart to tell her about their break-up.
Over the past few months he’s had to make some difficult decisions. Unsure whether Shanei would ever wake from her coma, he held a funeral service for Reanei at the end of March in Meyerton which saw him and other mourners wearing pink braces in memory of his beloved daughter.
“Renier made sure the whole service was recorded on video and in pictures for Shanei,” Annelie says. But nobody knows when she’ll be ready to watch it.
SHANEI, a receptionist at a medical practice, was on her way to Vereeniging to drop her daughter off at crèche before work on the fateful Friday morning when her car collided with another vehicle.
Paramedics had to cut the young mom from the wreckage using the jaws of life. She was taken to hospital in a critical condition.
Renier, who works for a company that installs fibre cable, rushed to the acci-
dent scene from Pretoria after hearing about the crash from a mutual friend.
He shakes his head when he recalls the moment he saw the blanket covering his baby daughter. “It felt so unreal,” he says.
Doctors at Sebokeng Hospital fought to save Shanei’s life. She was in bad shape – her liver, spleen and pancreas had been ruptured and her right leg was broken in several places. Her blood pressure was dangerously low and she’d lost a lot of blood.
Friends and family feared the worst so there was relief all around when Shanei miraculously came out of the coma after a fortnight.
“It was a hallelujah moment when she opened her eyes for the first time and recognised me,” Annelie says.
Initially they were puzzled as to why Shanei, who often shared pics of her baby girl on Facebook, wasn’t asking about Reanei. Gradually the heartbreaking realisation dawned that she had no recollection of the little girl.
Doctors don’t know yet whether Shanei’s amnesia is temporary or not. In the meantime, her visitors are carefully testing her memory.
Renier, who also has a tattoo of Reanei’s name, says when he visits Shanei talks to him as if they’re still a couple. But when he’s not there and other visitors talk about him to her, she doesn’t remember him at all.
Whenever anyone asks about her injured leg, she’ll say it hurts when she walks – but she hasn’t walked since the accident and metal pins have been inserted into her broken leg to help it heal. Shanei has had operations to mend her ruptured pancreas and liver and it will be a while before she’s mobile again.
“She needs 24-hour care at the moment and later she’ll have to undergo rehabilitation to learn to walk again,” Annelie says.
WHEN Shanei was 15 years old Annelie took her under her wing. By this point she’d already lost her biological mother who died of a brain aneurysm when Shanei was a baby.
After her dad died of lung cancer in 2010 Shanei moved in with Annelie’s daughter, Leanne Smith, who was her best friend.
“Reanei was the sweetest baby I’ve ever seen in my life. I only heard her cry once,” says Annelie.
She says Shanei and Reanei were inseparable. “They were like best friends – they did everything together. When Reanei saw a cellphone, she’d automatically start smiling for a picture.”
Shanei regularly posted pictures of Reanei on social media as well as poems dedicated to her.
“She always said her child was her salvation and her rock,” Annelie says.
And Reanei took after her mom, always smiling, always loving.
“Shanei was always asking for a hug. ‘Just give me a little love,’ she’d say.”
Another regular visitor to Shanei’s bedside is her close friend, Noelene van Blerk.
“But she doesn’t even remember I was here yesterday,” Noelene tells us. “And I’m here every single day at visiting time.”
She’s not giving up on her friend, though. Noelene started a Facebook page called Mommy Shanei, on which she regularly posts progress reports.
She’s also using the page, which has 6 000 followers, to raise money for her friend’s medical bills. And these are expected to be substantial.
Shortly after YOU’s interview Shanei was moved to Care Cure, a rehabilitation centre in Vereeniging where she’ll learn to walk again. In addition, she’ll possibly need a skin graft to close an open wound on her right leg. “I really hope Shanei gets well soon,” Renier says. Tears flow again as he wonders how he’s going to find the words to tell her the awful truth when the time comes.
It’s a moment Annelie also dreads.
“My biggest fear is the day Shanei asks, ‘ Where’s my child?’” she says. “That child was her whole life.”
‘She always said her child was her salvation and her rock’