SHOULD I GIVE HIM A FOURTH CHANCE?

Q I’ve decided to get divorced as my husband keeps cheating on me. I’ve almost divorced him three times but he’d always promise he won’t be unfaithful again.

Now there’s been yet another affair and it just seems to be a pattern. He’s being nice yet again, promising he’ll change and will love only me.

Because I love him, I want to believe him. Should I give him another chance, considering he’s had three already? Melinda, email

A As the saying goes, a leopard doesn’t change its spots. And there are definitely some men (and women) who have this in common with leopards – they don’t change their behaviour no matter what!

I think everyone needs a second chance but then they need to show they’ve learnt from their mistakes. And an affair isn’t a small mistake – it can be devastating for a partner.

Your husband has now made this mistake four times, so he really has no interest in changing. He’s simply relying on the fact that your love for him will mean you forgive him.

If he really wanted to change, he would’ve done so already.

Tell him you’re going ahead with the divorce and that you hope he can work on himself, and perhaps sometime in the future the two of you can see if there’s any hope of getting back together again. Tell him you’ll no longer allow your self-esteem and self-confidence to be eroded.

You’ve probably even forgotten what it feels like to have someone really care about you – getting divorced will give you the opportunity to find out!