SEX DRIVE DOWN THE DRAIN

Q I’m 54 years old and have been diagnosed with bipolar disorder. My problem is my sex drive has gone down the drain. I think about sex a lot but when it happens it’s over in seconds and I don’t get a full erection.

My wife, through no fault of her own, has lost interest in sex. We have sex only about once a month now. What do I do? The usual medications for getting an erection aren’t working. Worried, email

A Bipolar mood disorder has depression as one of its dominant features and one of the features of depression is low libido. Your wife’s lack of interest in sex is probably because she’s not satisfied sexually – if, as you say, things are over in seconds then there’s nothing in it for her.

You should consult a urologist about your erectile problem so you can have a full examination that includes looking at blood flow in the sexual organs. People can suffer from an inhibition of sexual desire due to depression without necessarily having erectile problems.

A urologist will also be able to check why the medication designed to assist with erections doesn’t work for you. It’s possible the medication for your mood disorder interferes with your erection.

If there’s no physiological reason for what’s happening, consult with a psychologist trained in sex therapy to help uncover the underlying cause. Erectile problems can be rooted in psychological issues.

Seeing a sex therapist will also give you the opportunity to learn about satisfying your wife sexually in ways that don’t involve penetration – research suggests that only 50% of women reach orgasm by means of penetration only.

‘Nothing is really work unless you would rather be doing something else’ – SCOTTISH NOVELIST JM BARRIE