HUBBY’S MOVIE STAR FANTASIES ANNOY ME

I got married two years ago and thought my marriage was happy. We have good vibes sexually and can talk and laugh together for hours. My girlfriends view me as pretty and I know a few of them envy me because I have a handsome husband who goes out of his way to be kind and charming to me.

When my hubby is with his friends, however, they’re always talking about which movie star turns them on and who they’d want to sleep with. I’ve spoken to him about this and he says it’s just harmless fun and fantasy.

He’s in his mid-thirties and I think this type of behaviour is a bit juvenile for someone his age. What’s more, it makes me feel unattractive and has negatively influenced my self-esteem.

What can I do? Zelda, email When men are with their friends they often play these games that are about figuring out who’s the biggest or best “hunter” of women. Some men seem to think this is important for their masculine image.

From your description of your husband it seems he’s focused on you for the most part and talks about these things only when he’s with his friends. He probably does it so he doesn’t feel left out of the group. It would be interesting to see how he (and his friends) would react if you and their wives and girlfriends start the same game. They might not like that at all.

The next time you all get together, tell the men that you ladies also want to play this game and chat about the male movie stars you fantasise about. Sometimes having to eat what you dish out isn’t so pleasant and it might just be a good way to bring the message home that it even if it’s just a game it can be hurtful.

‘Youth is the gift of nature but age is a work of art’ – POLISH POET STANISLAW JERZY LEC