Serena: ‘I felt like a bad mom’
She’s conquered the tennis world but when it comes to babies Serena is finding it just as tough as many new moms
HER fans rejoiced when she made her return to the tennis big time after a year out of the game following the birth of baby Alexis Olympia. Serena Williams – one of the greatest players the sport has ever seen, with a staggering 23 Grand Slams under her formidable belt – was back.
But it didn’t take long for the cracks to show. First she pulled out of the Australian Open saying she needed more time to prepare. Then she withdrew from the French Open because of an injury.
By the time Wimbledon rolled around the old Serena seemed to be back – gritty, determined and powerful. She slammed her way through to the final but then all but crumbled to Germany’s Angelique Kerber in straight sets.
And two months later it was clear something was going on when she bowed out of a major tournament in Montreal, Canada, citing “personal reasons”.
A few days later she took to Instagram to tell her millions of fans exactly what those reasons were.
Serena (36) has made no secret of the fact she’s struggling with the challenges of motherhood as much as the next woman – the exhaustion, the feelings of inadequacy and the pressure to do it all.
Postnatal depression (PND), she confirmed, knows no boundaries.
“Last week wasn’t easy for me,” she wrote. “Not only was I accepting some tough personal stuff, but I just was in a funk. Mostly I felt like I wasn’t a good mom.
“I read several articles that said postpartum emotions can last up to three years if not dealt with.”
She went on to reveal she’s working through her feelings by leaning on loved ones. “Talking things through with my mom, my sisters, my friends lets me know that my feelings are totally normal. It’s totally normal to feel like I’m not doing enough for my baby.
“I work a lot, I train, and I’m trying to be the best athlete I can be. However, that means although I’ve been with her every day of her life, I’m not around as much as I’d like to be.
“Most of you moms deal with the same thing whether stay-at-home or working. Finding that balance with kids is a true art. You’re the true heroes.
“I’m here to say: if you’re having a rough day or week – it’s okay, I am too!”
Her post elicited an outpouring of support from fellow moms, including Sex and the City star Kristin Davis.
“So true, Serena. Sometimes I think it’s just an inherent part of being a mom that you’ll always struggle. Because we care about them more than anything else.”
Since Alexis’ arrival last September Serena has been refreshingly candid about the ups and downs of motherhood.
“No one talks about the low moments – the pressure you feel, the incredible let-down every time you hear the baby cry. I’ve broken down I don’t know how many times,” she told Vogue magazine.
“I’ll get angry about the crying, then sad about being angry, and then guilty like, ‘Why do I feel so sad when I have a beautiful baby?’ The emotions are insane.”
During her Wimbledon preparation she lamented missing a major milestone in Alexis’ life. “She took her first steps . . . I was training and I missed it. I cried,” she tweeted.
Serena wants struggling moms to know they’re not alone. She got her message across dramatically at her first Grand Slam appearance at the French Open when she stepped on court in a black Wakanda-inspired catsuit that she said made her feel “like a superhero”.
“All the moms out there who had a tough pregnancy and have to come back and try to be fierce . . . that’s what this represents,” she declared.
'I’m here to say: if you’re having a rough day or week – it’s okay, I am too!'
HER gruelling birth experience started with an emergency C-section after Alexis’ heart rate dropped dramatically during contractions. Things seemed okay after her husband, Reddit co-founder Alexis Ohanian (35), cut the cord and placed their baby on her chest.
“That was an amazing feeling,” Serena told Vogue. “Then everything went bad.”
The next day she grew concerned after experiencing shortness of breath. Having survived a life-threatening blood clot in her lung in 2012, she knew it was a telltale sign. A CT scan confirmed her suspicions.
When her C-section scar split open after an intense coughing bout, doctors discovered a large haematoma (a solid swelling of clotted blood) in her abdomen. She needed more surgery, after which she was confined to bed for six weeks.
Alexis, whom she wed in November last year, has been an unfailing source of support.
When Serena returned to tennis in March – at the BNP Paribas Open in Palm Springs, California – he surprised her with multiple billboards featuring pics of her, baby Alexis and the message, “Greatest momma of all time.”
HER recent failures shouldn’t be equated with giving up – this is Serena Williams, after all. In her post-match interview after her Wimbledon defeat she said she was “only getting started”, and she has her sights set on clinching a record-breaking 25 Grand Slams.
“There’s something really attractive about the idea of moving to San Francisco [where she and Alexis have a home] and just being a mom,” she told Vogue. “But not yet . . . I absolutely want more Grand Slams.”
Her coach, Patrick Mouratoglou, reckons her latest comeback is the biggest challenge of her career, and former tennis great Chris Evert believes Serena still has her hunger and passion for the game.
“She’s a goal-orientated person,” Chris says. “She has to have something to reach for. And right now she has a new goal, and that’s to win as a mother. But she likes breaking records, and likes being the best at everything.”
Yet as determined as she is, motherhood has definitely changed Serena.
“Knowing I’ve got this beautiful baby to go home to makes me feel like I don’t have to play another match,” she says.
“I don’t need the money or the titles or the prestige. I want them, but I don’t need them. That’s a different feeling for me.”