Take My Advice

Lately Robert’s been quick to tell her what to do − but Margaret’s had about enough of him dictating her life

I’LL tell you what you should do, Margaret. You should take this toaster back and demand another one. We’ve only had it a couple of months and it’s broken.”

“Robert, it’s been 18 months,” said Margaret. “And it was guaranteed for only a year.”

“Well, you shouldn’t have bought such rubbish!” Robert’s face was red with indignation.

Were all recently retired foremen this short-tempered? Or just Robert?

She ran the water for the dishes as he watched her.

“That’s a lot of dishwashing liquid you’re using there, Margaret. You shouldn’t squeeze it so hard.”

I can’t even clean up without being told how, she raged silently, savagely swishing the plates.

“Careful, you’ll break something. You should take those plates and–”

If you tell me what to do once more I’ll break this plate over your head!

Instead, Margaret said calmly, “I think I can do the dishes on my own. Why don’t you go and watch television?”

“All right.” He walked out obediently. She made coffee and took it through. “Idiots,” said Robert, watching a few Survivors crouching under palm fronds in a tropical downpour. “That shelter they’ve built is no good.”

Suddenly everyone’s an idiot. What happened to the reasonable man I married?

It’s no wonder Brian left home as soon as he could. You were driving him mad too with your stupid advice.

“They need to dig a channel for the water to run off,” he went on. “Let’s just watch it, okay?” she said. Robert kept quiet until the programme was over, then he switched off the TV.

“But I’d like to see the film coming on next,” she protested.

“No, you don’t. You want to get your beauty sleep,” said Robert.

What I really want to do is open the door and run screaming down the road. But she followed him to bed. “You grind your teeth in your sleep and you’re keeping me awake,” said Robert the next morning.

There was a loud ringing in her ears and suddenly she found the words.

“Robert,” she said calmly. “Nothing I do lately is ever right. And it’s bad for me to be around your negativity. What I need to do is go away on my own for a holiday. And that’s just what I’m going to do.” Robert was stunned. “But I’m not negative! I had no idea you felt like that. What you should’ve done–”

“There you go again!” she shouted. “Telling me what to do!” S HE packed a bag and caught a taxi, wondering why she hadn’t done it years ago. “Good move, Mom,” said Brian, when she called him from the airport. “This might shake up Dad’s bossy attitude. What’re your plans?”

“I’m flying to Spain! I’ve always wanted to go there.”

“You don’t want to do that! You won’t like the food–”

It seemed his tendency to being overweight wasn’t all Brian had inherited from his father. She smiled understandingly. “I’ll call you when I get back.” Margaret bought a few dresses and flew to Majorca where she checked into a plush hotel. Then she put on her new swimsuit and headed for the beach.

She found a spot on the white sands and lay down. She’d just closed her eyes when she was abruptly woken by a ball bouncing on her tummy.

“So sorry!” A young man rushed up. “You are hurt? Sorry!”

He had dark eyes and the whitest teeth Margaret had ever seen, and concern was written all over his handsome face.

“It’s time I went swimming anyway,” she smiled.

“You are English? My name is Juan. I like to learn English with you!”

“Well, I speak English. My name’s Margaret.” “I swim with you. We speak English?” “Why not?” Margaret waded into the water but Juan took her hand and pulled her in, laughing.

“Water warm!” he said, diving under a swell then splashing her. “I dive on water,” he said. “Under the water,” she said, smiling. “Under. Right.” Water ran off his smooth tanned skin. “You are good teacher.”

Being listened to was a new experience for Margaret, especially by a young man, and she felt quite masterful. “You eat tonight the dinner with me?” “Will you have dinner with me tonight,” she corrected. “No, thank you Juan. I should have an early night.”

I’m old enough to be his mother! That evening in the dining room, an older man lifted his glass to her and she smiled back. He came over immediately. “May I join you? It’s no fun to eat alone.” His name was Harry and he was from Johannesburg. “And you are?” “Margaret, and I’m married,” she said. “That doesn’t mean I can’t enjoy the pleasure of your company.”

No, it doesn’t, thought Margaret, feeling like an independent and liberated woman. But to her dismay she had to listen to facts about the steel container market until the waiter took their order.

“Allow me. I speak the lingo,” said Harry, taking the menu.

“Paella. No, you don’t want that. Full of funny bits. Tell you what–” He smiled at Margaret. “How about good old fish and chips, eh?”

He said slowly to the waiter, “Pescado e papas fritas. Dos cubierto, por favor.”

“Two fish and chips,” repeated the waiter expressionlessly. “Right, sir.”

Margaret was disappointed to realise men were basically the same.

She would’ve liked the paella, but Harry so obviously expected to take charge.

Maybe it’s my fault Robert’s become so bossy, she reflected. For the sake of peace over the years I’ve let him become impossible.

“I tell you what,” said Harry, slathering sauce over his chips. “Watch a bullfight tomorrow.” “Absolutely not,” said Margaret. “You need to absorb a bit of Spanish culture,’ he said seriously. “You need–” Was this Robert’s long-lost brother? “I know what I need,” she said. “I need my beauty sleep. Good night!”

She lay in bed wondering what Robert was doing. She hoped he’d remembered to buy toothpaste, but he hadn’t bought anything for years. When I get home I’m going to insist he does some shopping. Insist. That had a nice ring to it. Her last thought before she drifted off was if the men in her life weren’t going to change, she’d have to.

MARGARET spent her days on the beach and wandering through the little markets. She bought Robert a tooled leather belt, and a woven rug for Brian’s flat. She couldn’t resist a pottery bowl with Moorish designs, and boarded the plane with heavier luggage and new sun-bleached highlights in her hair.

Robert was at the airport to meet her when she arrived.

“Hello, love,” he said, enfolding her in a bear hug. “I missed you. Glad you’re back.” “I’m glad too, Robert,” she said. She was surprised at how much she enjoyed the feeling of his warm familiar body against hers.

“What I thought you should do Margaret, is go home and you could–”

She felt like going home too, but she started as she intended to continue.

“What I’d like to do Robert, is see Brian first,” she interrupted. “I have a gift for him.” “Oh, right. Of course.” Margaret wondered if he’d caught the unaccustomed note of authority in her voice.

“I tell you what we should – no, let me put it this way,” he said quickly. “Would you like us all to go out for a meal together?”

“I’d like that very much,” she smiled.

Over steak and chips, Brian said, “Great tan, Mom. Did you have a good holiday?” “Lovely,” she said. “I’ve been thinking. What you should do now is–” She stood up. “Brian, if I ever hear that phrase again I’m going back to Spain to teach English. I’ve discovered English teachers are in great demand there.”

Brian’s jaw dropped, but Robert took her hand.

“Okay, sweetheart,” he said. “Point taken. I’ve had plenty of time to think while you were away and I realise I’ve been a real grouch.”

“Glad you worked that one out,” she said, grinning, and kissed him lightly.

“While you were away I became a volunteer at the community advice office.”

“Perfect!” she said. “You’re very good at giving advice. Now, I’ll tell you what we should do. We should leave this son of ours here to think about what I’ve said and go home to bed. Don’t you agree?”

“I do indeed. You’re full of good ideas,” said Robert. ■

Had he caught the unaccustomed note of authority in her voice?