HOW DO I CHOOSE BETWEEN THEM?

I have three women in my life – my wife and two mistresses. Each holds a fascination for me.

I love my wife because she’s a good mother to my children and she makes my life comfortable. One mistress I love because she’s stunningly beautiful and I feel like a real man when she’s with me. She’s also an excellent lover.

The other mistress I love because she’s intellectual and I can have interesting discussions with her which I can’t have with the other two women in my life. We can debate almost anything for hours and I find that quite a turn-on.

The problem is what I’ve feared for some time has happened – they found out about one another and are now insisting I choose one of them. How can I do that if my love for each of them is different and based on different needs? Please help. Joseph, email

It’s true that no one person can meet all our needs, wants and interests in life. It’s also true that you can’t have a relationship with three women and really call any of those a strong, fulfilling relationship – because when you’re with one of the women you’re missing the others.

At the moment you’re behaving almost like a spoilt child in a sweet shop – unable to decide which sweet you’d like and wanting them all.

Before you choose you need to do some serious introspection, preferably with a psychologist who can guide you through the issues you need to think about. You need to figure out which of your needs are paramount in a relationship as this will influence your choice.

However, your love for these women is not altruistic but rather egotistical – it’s based on what they do for you and not what you can contribute to their lives. Working with a psychologist will hopefully help you gain more maturity so you can learn to love in a different way.