IT’S AS IF MY EYES HAVE BEEN OPENED

One morning I woke up and simply fell out of love with my wife. I look at her and wonder why on earth I married her eight years ago. Everything she does now irritates me.

She’s become fat and sloppy and doesn’t groom herself well. She has bad eating habits and is selfish and egocentric – everything is always about her. Why didn’t I see all of this earlier?

My family warned me when we started dating that she’s not the right woman for me. I’m sporty and adventurous and love the outdoors. She hates sports and being outdoors and just wants to stay at home and be a couch potato.

Luckily we don’t have kids. But I feel like a fool now having to acknowledge that my family was right all along. What should I do? Henry, email Although it feels as if you just woke up one morning and realised this, it probably didn’t happen overnight. It’s likely your subconscious mind has been struggling with this for months and that only once your subconscious felt it would be safe for you to see it did it allow you to view your marriage in a more critical light.

People make mistakes. That’s just a fact of life. And sometimes they make big ones. You’re not a fool for making a mistake, but you would be one if you didn’t acknowledge the mistake and do something about it.

If you think there’s even a small chance you may still love your wife, talk to her about both of you changing your lifestyle so you live more healthily. Tell her you’d like her to pay more attention to her appearance. How she reacts to this will determine what you decide to do.

But if you’re absolutely convinced that you don’t love her anymore and that you’re not compatible, the right thing to do would be to get divorced. Then you’ll both be free and have the opportunity to find partners you’re better suited to and with whom you can have a loving, fulfilling relationship.