WHY IS SHE FORCING HIM INTO AN AFFAIR?

My husband had an affair with a woman he met on a business trip. When I found out about it he promised me it was over and said he wanted our marriage to work.

When he ended things with her she phoned me and told me my husband is hers and she’ll get him in the end – and I’m starting to believe her.

Three times now I’ve discovered that he’s been with her. When he goes on business trips she meets up with him wherever he goes. So it’s far from over.

Each time I’ve confronted him and he says the same thing every time – that it’s not him who’s keeping the affair alive, that she’s the one who keeps contacting him and then the affair is simply resumed.

How can this be? How can she force him into an affair with her when he’s said he wants to work on our marriage? Amanda, email Your husband is not forcing this woman at gunpoint to meet up with him or to make love. The way I see it he’s just dishing up a woolly story to you and trying to deflect attention from his own role in the affair. If he really wanted to work on your marriage and end the affair he could do it regardless of how many times the other woman tried to contact him.

If a man is no longer interested in a woman he has a very good way of letting her know about it. So he’s really just avoiding taking responsibility for his actions and trying to pin all the blame on her.

What’s really going on is that your husband wants it both ways. He wants his marriage with you to continue while he also has this dalliance with his mistress when he feels like it.

You need to decide if you’re willing to accept this situation and believe the fairytale he’s telling you. If not, it’s time to give him an ultimatum – either she goes or you do.