HOW DO I HIDE MY BOYFRIEND FROM MY MOM?

I’m a 36-year-old white woman from an Afrikaans family who believe that when it comes to relationships, you should stick to people of your own race.

But I’ve been dating an Indian guy for a few years now without their knowledge.

I’ve already met his family but I’ve been hiding our relationship from mine.

The problem now is that my mom, who lives in a different province, is coming to visit me and I’m freaking out. How am I going to hide my Indian boyfriend from her? He’s under the impression my family know about him.

He lives in his own place up the road from me. There’s no way I can tell my mom about him. She’ll literally freak out. Anonymous, email The first thing you need to do is address a very important issue within yourself. You’ve been living a lie not only when it comes to your family but also with regard to yourself.

On the one hand you’re happy to be with your boyfriend, so the relationship must be fulfilling and he must make you happy. But on the other hand you’re hiding him from your family. How do you reconcile these two things? Why are you afraid to stand up for your beliefs and be open about your relationship?

See your family’s racial prejudices for what they are. Make up your mind about who you are and what you believe.

Are your feelings for your boyfriend real? If you love him, be open about it. Be woman enough to acknowledge him as your partner to your mother and the rest of your family. Maybe you could even help them see beyond the colour of a person’s skin.