Cash-strapped widow makes a plan
Her husband’s death left her in a financial crisis – now she has advice for others in the same predicament
THE day her life changed in a heartbeat is imprinted on her memory forever. Her husband, an entrepreneur in the fruit industry, was in Johannesburg on business while she kept the home fires burning in Paarl in the Western Cape.
She tried to get hold of him on the Friday but his phone went unanswered. “It was strange,” Amanda du Toit says. “Eion and I usually spoke six to eight times a day and suddenly there was just silence.”
Still, she was a busy mom of three young kids and there was plenty to do. Emma, the middle child, had lost a tooth and Amanda told herself to calm down and get her daughter to the dentist – Eion was probably just busy.
But when she still hadn’t heard anything by Sunday, she became frantic with worry. She tracked down the number of the guesthouse where he was staying and the owner said she’d check his room.
Fifteen minutes later Amanda’s phone rang. “I have terrible news,” the proprietor said. “Your husband died in his room.”
Amanda felt the bottom drop out of her world.
“My brain literally ached – I thought I was having a stroke or something. I didn’t know what to do. We’d been married for 17 years and had built a life together. Now he was gone.”
Eion (50) had had a massive heart attack and for three weeks Amanda was in such a state she couldn’t decide what to do about his body. In the end she had him cremated then geared herself up to start the admin involved when someone dies.
And soon it became apparent her husband’s death wasn’t the only shock in store. Eion had left her with practically nothing – he had no life insurance and no signed will.
The only policy she could track down was one that would pay out in the event of accidental death – and as he’d died of a heart attack, the policy was worthless.
Eion had worked for himself so there were no company shares or pension due to him. All she could find was a retirement annuity that would pay out R200 000 – and a quick bit of mental arithmetic told her the money wouldn’t last 18 months. Not with three kids to clothe, feed and educate.
“There was no time to be frustrated or angry,” Amanda (now 47) says. She had to make a plan, and fast.
Fortunately, she had a job in the finance department of a fruit company but things were going to be tight.
She went online to see if she could find any advice on the way forward from people in similar circumstances.
“There were suggestions such as stop buying takeaway coffee and cancel your gym membership.
“But no one tells you what to do when one of your kids’ pet bunnies develops an abscess or the washing machine breaks
down. You need money for things like this.”
So she started making drastic changes.
SHE and her kids, Jan-Hendrik (now 15), Emma (now 9) and Corlia (now 6), moved in with her mom, Emmie Grewe, and she sold her seven-seater family car, opting for a smaller vehicle that’s far lighter on petrol.
A year after her husband’s death in June 2017 she entered the Absa Money Makeover competition, in which six contestants receive the help of a financial adviser for six months in a bid to overhaul their finances completely.
Amanda learnt how small changes – such as taking out a cheaper cellphone contract because every cent counts – can make a big difference to your budget.
She ended up winning R25 000 in the competition and invested most of it. But she did set aside some to treat her children and her mom to a road trip this December holiday.
“I don’t want my children to just survive. I want to build a life and a future for us.”
Emmie is proud of her daughter and grandchildren.
“We all support one another,” she says. “Amanda tackled the problem head-on.”
Emmie helps out by taking her grandkids to school and picking them up in the afternoon when their mom is at work and ferrying them to their extracurricular activities.
Things are much better now, Amanda says. She even has enough money to pay for Pilates classes and says, “I’ve lost 7kg.”
“When one important aspect of your life is sorted, the rest falls into place.”
AMANDA and her family are doing well now. The R200 000 from Eion’s retirement annuity has been reinvested and is the family’s nest egg. She also learnt an important lesson: make sure your affairs are in order – not tomorrow, not next week, but today.
Life is unpredictable; just look what happened to her husband, Amanda says. One minute she thought everything was fine – they were a two-income household and she barely gave a thought to the future.
She now has all her important papers and documents in one folder in case the unforeseen happens: her signed, updated will; certified copies of her ID; the passwords to all her online banking accounts; and all her policies.
“My children know where to find them,” she says. “They’re worried the same thing that happened to their dad might happen to me, which is why I go for a checkup every year to put them at ease.”
The kids have made sacrifices too. They were used to eating out, ordering pizzas and having big birthday parties. They’ve had to scale back and can have treats only every now and then.
Cutting back financially has spurred Amanda on to scale down in other ways. After Eion’s death she took about 500 of his books to the local library and they now stand on a special shelf bearing his name.
She still misses her husband but she’s carved a new life for herself and it’s working for them.
“We live minimalistic lives now,” she says. “We can breathe again.”
‘When one important aspect of your life is sorted, the rest falls into place’