I WENT ON HOLIDAY AND FELL IN LOVE
I recently had the privilege of going on a safari trip to Kenya. It was a trip I’d booked last year which fell through due to the pandemic and was postponed to this year. When I booked it my wife said she wasn’t interested in going along as she’s not into the outdoors.
On the safari I met a single woman two years younger than me (I’m 35) and we clicked immediately. It’s as if I’ve met my soulmate. We love the same things and really enjoyed the safari together. She’s not only beautiful but an amazing person with kindness in her heart, not only for animals but also for people. My wife on the other hand is a cold person who doesn’t socialise easily and doesn’t like animals.
I think I’m in love with this new person in my life and feel I can’t stay with my wife as our marriage leaves me feeling depressed and lonely. This new woman makes me feel alive and that life is worth living. But how do I tell my wife this? I’m normally a level-headed guy and have never cheated on my wife in the 10 years we’ve been married. Luckily we don’t have kids as my wife is a career woman and told me she doesn’t have time for children. Ashley, email
You and your wife seem to have little in common. However, you need to be careful about coming to the conclusion that you’re in love with this woman just because of your time together on a trip. Being on safari in Kenya is enticing and sets the stage for a beautiful romance – but it is far removed from reality. Don’t leave your wife because of this new woman. You need to think about your relationship with your wife in isolation. The question is, do you really want to keep living with someone with whom you have so little in common? Do you want to stay in a marriage which leaves you feeling depressed and lonely?
If the answer is no, talk to your wife about it and tell her you want a divorce because you’ve realised the two of you are incompatible. It shouldn’t be about leaving your wife for the new woman – it should be about ending your marriage because you’re not suited to each other.
Don’t get romantically involved with the other woman until you’ve left your wife and filed for divorce. Besides this being only fair towards your wife, it also means you’re not putting undue pressure on a new romance.