THE CRIPPLING CONSERVATORSHIP
Britney describes the legal arrangement – which saw her father, Jamie Spears, take over control of every aspect of her life – as “soul-crushing”. The conservatorship was put in place shortly after her infamous head-shaving incident, which Britney talks about in her book.
“I’d been eyeballed so much growing up, I’d been looked up and down, had people telling me what they thought of my body since I was a teenager. Shaving my head and acting out were my ways of pushing back.”
Two stints in a psychiatric hospital followed. Britney was also battling postpartum depression after giving birth to sons Sean (18) and Jaden (17) in quick succession.
And she was in the midst of a bitter divorce with Kevin Federline, the boys’ father and her second husband. She was diagnosed with bipolar disorder and after the conservatorship was put in place she was “read the riot act”.
“I had to grow my hair out and get back into shape. I had to go to bed early and take whatever medication they told me to take,” she says.
At times she’d push back privately, but ultimately her exhaustion and fear of losing access to her young sons won out.
Having her father and his associates make all her decisions made her “feel sick”.
“If they’d let me live my life, I know I would’ve followed my heart and come out of this the right way and worked it out.”
Since being freed of the conservatorship she’s had to construct a whole new identity for herself.
“I’ve had to say, ‘Wait a second, this is who I was – someone passive and pleasing. And this is who I am now – someone strong and confident. A woman’,” she says.
Britney’s sons live with their father in Hawaii and, although things have been rocky between them over the years, the boys are in contact with their mother now.
“Starting a family was my dream come true,” she tells People. “Being a mom was all I wanted to do.”