HOW DO I LEARN TO TRUST AGAIN?

‘WE LIVE IN A WONDERFUL WORLD FULL OF BEAUTY, CHARM AND ADVENTURE. THERE IS NO END TO THE ADVENTURES WE CAN HAVE IF ONLY WE SEEK THEM WITH OUR EYES OPEN’

– INDIAN POLITICIAN AND AUTHOR JAWAHARLAL NEHRU

I’ve recently been through a bitter divorce where my wife tried to show that I had sexually abused my five-yearold daughter.This not only traumatised me but also my child as I wasn’t allowed to see her for a year, and we were very close before the separation. I did not realise what a vindictive, cold-hearted person my wife was until we separated. During the divorce she also tried to get as much money out of me as possible but luckily I had a very good divorce attorney.

The problem is I’ve lost all my trust in women. The idea of landing in the clutches of a woman again simply terrifies me. I know I’m still young and have my life ahead of me but also don’t want to grow old without a partner.

What do I do? Grant, email

It is indeed a very traumatic experience to be accused of sexually abusing your little girl, especially when you know your ex-wife is lying to push her own agenda. It seems your ex didn’t consider the consequences this would have for your daughter. Parental alienation is one of the most cruel things a parent can do to a child.

You should have some sessions with a psychologist so he or she can help you to resolve the anger you feel towards your ex-wife and women in general. You need to accept that some people are trustworthy and others aren’t, and it isn’t dependent on gender. Hopefully seeing a therapist can help you to trust again so you can move on with your life.