I UNDERSTAND HER PAIN
His daughter was murdered too, so he didn’t hesitate when asked to speak for Reeva’s mother at Oscar Pistorius’ parole hearing
HE DIDN’T hesitate when his lawyer contacted him with a request: would he be prepared to read the victim statement for June Steenkamp at the parole hearing of the man who killed her daughter? Of course he would, Rob Matthews replied.
“It was an honour to be able to help June in her darkest hour,” he tells YOU. “I can understand the trauma she’s had this year. She just wants to remove herself from everything and to have some quiet and silence.”
If there’s anyone who knows what June has had to go through, it’s Rob. He too lost a daughter to murder – his beautiful, beloved Leigh, who was just 21 when she was killed by Donovan Moodley.
He too has had to face the prospect of his daughter’s killer being freed from jail – although Moodley has yet to be granted parole despite attempts in January last year and March this year.
He too has had to find a way of getting through each day and coping with the gaping hole left in their lives. Although he doesn’t know June personally, he understands how parole hearings can affect your emotional state – and the statement Rob read out for June tells a heartrending tale of grief upon grief.
June didn’t oppose parole for Oscar Pistorius, who shot and killed her daughter, Reeva Steenkamp, through a toilet door on Valentine’s Day 2013. But she did ask for strict parole conditions and she did want her words to be heard, even if she didn’t deliver them herself.
“That alone was a huge victory and it will help other victims too,” says lawyer Tania Koen, who represents June. It was Tania, who also represents the Matthews family, who contacted Rob about reading the statement.
June (77) spoke through Rob, describing how devastated she and her husband, Barry, had been when Reeva died.
“And then the unthinkable happened: Barry passed away on 14 September 2023.
“What he meant to my life and the extent of his support have now crystallised into what remains after: a bottomless black hole of pain and loneliness.
“I miss my partner and confidant dearly. That he is reunited with Reeva offers some respite, but does not ease the terrific sense of loss I have to come to terms with. I am not attending Oscar’s parole as I simply cannot muster the energy to face him again.”
Although June still doesn’t believe Oscar’s version of events – that he thought an intruder was in the bathroom and he felt vulnerable on his stumps – she has forgiven him.
“I knew almost instantly I would not be able to survive if I had to cling to my anger,” she said.
Rob, now 72 and a retired accountant, is happy he could help June, but doesn’t
‘I HOPE THERE HAS BEEN SINCERE REMORSE’
want to share his thoughts on Oscar being granted parole as the former Blade Runner “wasn’t part of my life”.
Yet he hopes Oscar has been rehabilitated, he adds. “I also hope there has been sincere remorse.”
LIKE Reeva, Leigh would’ve turned 40 this year – her birthday was in July and as usual the family marked the occasion with a get-together.
Rob, his wife, Sharon (69), their older daughter, relatives and friends had a braai at the Matthews’ Johannesburg home. Rob has asked us not to name Leigh’s sister, but says she’s married and lives overseas.
Unlike June, he hasn’t been able to forgive his daughter’s killer because “he has changed his story so many times”.
“Healing can only happen once you get all the answers. We don’t even know where Leigh died. We don’t know the time of her death. We don’t know how many people were involved,” Rob says.
Moodley admitted to kidnapping Leigh, extortion and murder and was sentenced to 25 years in prison in 2005.
However, Rob says he has shown no sincere remorse and describes him as a “vexatious litigant”.
Moodley has now turned to the Johannesburg High Court seeking to overturn the parole board’s decision not to grant him parole.
Rob is still clinging to the hope that the truth of what happened will be revealed one day. “If he wants to have any chance of getting out on parole, I would hope the starting point would be him acknowledging what he has done, how he did it, who else was involved.”
SINCE their loss Rob and Sharon have felt the need to be a voice for families who’ve lost loved ones through similar crimes. He says parole hearings can also open fresh wounds for families still in the process of grieving.
This is why he’s dedicated his time to reaching out to affected families, offering support by sharing his story, attending parole hearings or court proceedings and raising awareness through organisations such as Women and Men Against Child Abuse.
Many families choose not to speak out as the violent loss of a loved one is heartbreaking, he says. “We’re all at different paths in our journey.”
Rob believes processes like the victim impact statement provide insight into how a loved one’s death has affected a family – as the statement he read out on June’s behalf did.
“I like to believe that some of the restrictions that were put in his parole conditions were as a result of consideration given to some of the concerns June had as a victim,” Rob says.
He’s been outspoken about the fact that he believes the law is more geared towards the perpetrator than the victim and their family.
What’s helped carry him and his family through the years has been the love and support from people close to them and strangers alike.
“It’s been amazing,” he says. “This is why we truly want to help others and make a difference.”