I NEVER REMARRIED AND FEEL I’VE MISSED OUT ON LIFE

When I was young, I had an insatiable need to move from one woman to another. I had many affairs, which were exciting and stimulating, but at the same time without any long-term value. I got divorced two years into my marriage. We didn’t have children.

Since then I’ve just focused on my career. I’m now 50, and my career is going well. I have a home and I’m financially comfortable. The problem is, I don’t have the magical thing my friends have – a family and grandchildren whom they give their utmost love and attention.

I’m very envious of them. It seems as if they have much more value in life than I do. So what do I do? I meet many women with young children who are just looking for a meal ticket, and that’s certainly not what I’m looking for.

Carel, email

What is done is done and you can’t change that now. To keep hanging on to regrets will only leave you feeling sad and deprived.

You’re not too old to have a meaningful life. There are many divorced or widowed women that aren’t looking for a man to be a meal ticket and would like a partner. So don’t tell yourself that all the women who are interested in you have an ulterior motive. Also, as much as the desire for family and grandchildren is understandable, don’t rush into a relationship solely to fill that void.

Happiness means different things to different people, and you need to do some introspection and figure out what it is that will make you happy. If your life is full and meaningful, there’s no time for unhappiness.

Start by being thankful for what you have. You can also choose a couple of charity organisations that you’d like to invest your time in. You’ll be surprised how much doing something for someone else or for animals can enrich and change your life.

You will also get in touch with people who don’t care just about their own needs but who value life, other people and the Earth, and therefore spend time making the world a better place.