PHIL STUTZ’S LESSONS FOR LIVING
Material things will never make you happy
Human beings can never be made happy by the material world. We are spiritual beings and can be emotionally healthy only when we are in touch with a higher world. This is not abstract philosophy; it’s a description of our nature. But it requires constant work to stay in touch with these forces. And yet it’s also our nature to try to avoid this work.
How to deal with anger
Anger is inevitable but it’s key that it’s processed right at the moment it comes up. This involves three steps.
When you find yourself enraged, take a quiet moment and focus on your anger. Block out everything else.
The second step is to completely shut off the anger. Visualise yourself in a natural setting at night, looking up at the stars. Let yourself feel inconsequential in the universe; your personal concerns will seem unimportant and you can feel your anger dissolve.
Finally, focus on the person who provoked your anger and send a loving energy to them. Do not argue with yourself about whether or not the person really deserves love. From this new vantage point, you will be able to accept the frustrations of life without getting tied up in knots.
Check your dissatisfaction Our culture is marked by the relentless pursuit of the better deal. We take it as our divine right to go for the bigger house, the faster car, the more prestigious job. Driven by a blind force, we look outside ourselves for more. The result is a frenzy of activity, powered by the fear of missing something, which exhausts us emotionally and leaves us spiritually empty.
Nowhere is this pursuit more destructive than in our intimate relationships. Wanting a better car is one thing; wanting a better wife or husband is quite another. We have brought an acquisitive, judgmental force into a place where it does not belong – the realm of love.
Adulterous fantasies can be more damaging than you might think
It’s human nature to fantasise about other partners. We tell ourselves it’s a free and harmless pleasure, and often it is. But beyond a certain point, fantasising becomes an obstacle to a relationship. You’ll know that your fantasies are out of control if they are long and involved, if you use them as an antidote to dissatisfaction with your partner, and if they bear no relationship whatsoever to reality. The more energy you pour into your magical non-partner and fantasy life, the less energy you will have for your real partner and your real life.
Be humble
The ego likes big, dramatic actions that seem as if they’ll magically change the future. This gives the ego a sense of power. Real discipline is quite the opposite. It’s made up of an endless number of small steps, each of which can seem meaningless on its own. The ego has to humble itself to keep going on a productive course.
THIS IS AN EDITED EXTRACT FROM LESSONS FOR LIVING: WHAT ONLY ADVERSITY CAN TEACH YOU BY PHIL STUTZ. PUBLISHED BY VERMILION, R595 FROM TAKEALOT.COM. PRICE CORRECT AT THE TIME OF GOING TO PRINT AND SUBJECT TO CHANGE WITHOUT NOTICE.