SURVIVING AND THRIVING

I write this with an elated heart at the age of 60. My life before 31 October last year was a journey of misery, heartache, tragedy and loss.

It started off with a marriage to a narcissistic man, whom I later divorced as I couldn’t handle the abuse, both physical and verbal. Being a single parent was a tough, rough road. I lost my job, resulting in me losing my flat. My car was stolen.

Losing a parent and close family members was not easy. My whole life was torn apart but through it all, I ensured I instilled high morals, education and humanity and spirituality in my children.

On 31 October, my son graduated with a law degree, cum laude. This surpassed all my misery. In that moment, which is indescribable, I was the proudest mother. I thank God, for I’m still standing and looking up.

PAM REDDY, EMAIL

S Often abuse in a relationship can be so subtle that a naïve person is hardly aware that he or she is being abused. Sadly, men also suffer abuse from domineering and bullying women but very few acknowledge it. Verbal and emotional abuse can rob you of all your dignity and self-worth.

The most difficult action in abusive relationships is for the victim to end the relationship and walk away. The victim can become so tolerant of the abuse and accept it as normal. You’ll try to justify the abuse, make excuses for the abuser, avoid doing anything that may aggravate the abuser and more commonly, blame yourself for the situation. Anything is easier than walking away.

What causes a victim to still cling to the abuser other than financial support, children and love? Did you know that even after walking away you still yearn for the person who abused you? I know, as I’m writing this first hand. I was a victim. The recovery is painful but necessary for emotion wellbeing. Find the strength within you.

REGINA, EMAIL