MY DAUGHTER HAS SUDDENLY CHANGED – WHAT IS HAPPENING?

My daughter, my wife and I used to be a very close-knit family. My daughter is 12 and started getting her period last month. She has now changed into someone we do not know.

She used to love sleeping with us for a while in our bed in the early morning. She used to be polite when talking to us and didn’t argue or talk back. She used to keep the door of her room open but now closes it and she clearly wants to be on her own.

She used to speak to us about everything but now seems to be more private and keeps things to herself.

She’s also argumentative and questions it if we tell her to do things. She’s affectionate with us (hugging) when it suits her but sometimes when we try to hug her she says “hands off ”.

She does well at school, has lots of friends and her teacher says she’s a happy child. What is happening to my daughter?

Dickens, email

Your daughter is simply changing from a child into a young lady. She is experiencing hormonal changes and this is accompanied by changes in things like her need for privacy.

She’s seeking her own identity, figuring out what she wants, questioning authority and learning to assert herself. In short, it’s typical teenage behaviour. Teens tend to be quite egocentric and directed towards the gratification of their immediate needs. It’s all about what they want and what they need.

While teens are on the brink of growing up they often still have the needs and feelings of children. What’s interesting about the teen years, and what makes it a challenging time for parents, is that teenagers often question the legitimacy of any authority and everything adults do and often feel that adults are dumb.

As they grow older they realise the wisdom of the adults in their lives and tend to appreciate it in hindsight. Congratulations and strength, because you now have a teenager in your home!