OUR MARRIAGE IS A TOTAL DISASTER

My wife and I have been married for 10 years. I found out on the evening of our wedding that my wife had had an extended affair with my best friend for four of the five years we were dating. She broke it off with him just days before the wedding.

The reason that she gave him was that my family is rich. My parents have never indulged me and always believed that I must make my own way in life.

I qualified as an engineer and bought my own house with money I earned. I have worked my way up at the company and I earn a substantial salary.

Since our wedding, my wife has never been employed although I encourage her to have her own career. She told me that she does not need a career as she knows that I want children and she wants to be a mother.

I recently discovered she has had several affairs since we got married and I even caught her talking to a lover on the phone. When I confronted her, she told me that she loves me, but that her life at home can be mundane and thus it is exciting to have affairs. She assured me that she wants to be married to me.

I am traumatised and do not know how I can trust her again.

Betrayed, email

A leopard seldom changes its spots. Your wife seems to be very narcissistic and is only directed towards her own needs – a comfortable life with a husband who earns a high salary, no work for her and plenty of leisure time. You will have to make a tough decision.

Are you willing to take the chance that she might cheat on you again? You may have children, then she might be unfaithful again and you end up divorced with her taking half of the estate and the children with her?

You deserve to have a wife who supports you, is there for you and appreciates you and is willing to build a wonderful family with you. Do not be satisfied with second best.