Get your toddler to sleep tonight

When your toddler’s not sleeping a wink, our checklist helps you find a solution – no night nanny required

Toddlers and sleep – two words guaranteed to make us all shudder. Mostly because toddler sleep challenges are numerous, and even worse than a baby’s. Maybe you have a “just lie with me” child, or a “one more song” toddler, or your little one wakes up plenty during the night – individual kids have individual sleep issues. The most important thing to remember when talking about toddlers and sleep is to realise that it is not the same as babies and sleep. Toddlerhood brings about a whole new array of manipulation, temperament and imagination.

HE NEEDS A ROUTINE

When it comes to toddlers it all boils down to one word: discipline. Toddlers are boundary pushers, especially with sleep. During the toddler stage there is so much growth and change; it is the time between infancy and childhood when a child learns and changes in so many ways. Because of this consistency is of utmost importance. Toddlers’ attention spans are very short and they do not remember rules – this is why rules have to be repeated and enforced, and then repeated and reinforced. Implementing a nightly bedtime routine is vital:

Bedtime is no later than 8pm, with bath and a story before your tot hits the sheets.

No climbing out of bed once he is tucked in.

Your toddler must know that he needs to close his eyes and lie down quietly.

Remember to take the focus off “you have to sleep” and rather put the focus on “you have to obey the rules”.

HE DOESN’T HAVE A SAY

A major milestone for any toddler is establishing their independence, which is also why they push the limits and get testy. It is at exactly this point that you need to lay down sleep rules and stick to them, without question. Remember that while you support your toddler’s need for independence you also need to enforce your family’s rules of discipline and routine. So give your toddler an opportunity to voice his opinions on his sleep routine and habits within certain boundaries. For example:

Putting on pyjamas is not negotiable, but do you want to put on this pair, or this pair?

Having a bath is not negotiable, but do you want bubbles or salts?

Mom cannot lie down with you, but do you want your teddy or superhero figure to sleep with you tonight?

WHAT’S IN IT FOR HIM?

It is very useful to implement a reward and consequence structure regarding sleep. Good behaviour like sticking to the sleep rules should be rewarded, while breaking them (such as climbing out of bed) has a consequence. Rewards should be immediate, so give them the next morning and not only after sleeping well the whole week. Similarly, make sure that the consequences are big enough to matter. This should help guide your child to choose the correct behaviour that is in line with your expectations.

IT TAKES TIME TO SETTLE

When you make changes to a child’s routine they will respond with niggliness – not all crying is bad. You can still be a loving and attentive parent and not give in to your child’s every request. Anticipate that there will be some crying and then, as calmly as you can, remind your child of the consequence and rewards of following the sleep rules.

HE’S STRESSED

Toddlers are really sensitive beings and they pick up on our emotions very easily. If you always feel stressed about bedtime, chances are that your child will respond in the same way. Try to make bedtime a positive and fun experience and

your toddler is sure to follow suit. Let him help you run the bath, check the temperature and choose the books to read as part of the routine. Give him your full, undivided attention during this part of the evening – that means cellphones should be off or in another room, and that dinner should be planned early enough to enjoy the last bit of quality time before the child needs to sleep.

THERE’S JUST TOO MUCH GOING ON

Many toddlers spend the last hour or two of their day in front of the television. The problem is that TV screens (as well as cellphones and ipads) have blue light, which inhibits melatonin production – the hormone that makes us feel sleepy. This has a negative effect on how easily your toddler falls asleep as well as the quality of sleep. Rather than sitting in front of the TV, get your tot to spend some time outdoors on the swing or on a yoga ball at the end of the day – exposure to fresh air and sunlight are the best activities in preparation for sleep.

WATCH WHAT HE’S EATING

You can never separate sleep and nutrition – they go hand in hand. To initiate restful sleep we need to encourage our children to eat foods that help the production of sleep-inducing neurotransmitters, such as serotonin and melatonin, along. Traditionally, these are foods rich in tryptophan (especially dairy products) and B vitamins. Growth hormones are also released when we sleep and these are also important to help healing and repair. Protein for dinner is an excellent choice, as well as keeping your toddler’s sugar levels stable. Omega 3 (found in oily fish, avos an nuts), iron, zinc (sesame seeds, lamb and beef) and magnesium (bananas and leafy green veggies like spinach) are crucial for good quality sleep. YB