BUT DOES HE REALLY NEED IT? YOUR QUESTIONS ANSWERED
CLARE HARVEY, CLINICAL PSYCHOLOGIST
HOW LONG DO CHILDREN GENERALLY HOLD ON TO THEIR COMFORT OBJECTS?
“I think they should have them for as long as they need to. A child’s most important task in the first years of life is to learn to trust. If they need help to make use of a dummy or blanky in order to feel safe while away from their mommy, until she returns, then that is what they should be allowed and encouraged to do. In this way the separation from Mom feels a little bit more manageable and they begin to trust that Mom returns. Eventually this trust radiates to other people and they learn that it is appropriate and okay to rely on others.”
SHOULD ONE ENCOURAGE A SEPARATION FROM A SECURITY BLANKET OR DUMMY?
“I don’t think it is necessary. Children will drop their objects when they are ready to. Sometimes dummies can be swopped for something more ‘age appropriate’ if the child is using it past the age her parents are comfortable with. But if you do that, it is important to give the child something else to use for comfort instead.”
IS THERE A “TOO-LONG”? IS THERE A “TOO ATTACHED”?
“I would suggest a visit to a psychologist if the child cannot go to formal schooling without the object.”
WHAT DAMAGE CAN IT DO IF A CAREGIVER OR GRANDPARENT FORCIBLY REMOVES THE OBJECT?
“I believe this can be very damaging, which is why I recommend the idea of swopping it for something more age-appropriate, such as a teddy.”
SOME PARENTS DON’T LIKE TO USE A DUMMY FOR TOO LONG AS IT CAN IMPACT ON JAW AND TOOTH DEVELOPMENT. WHAT STRATEGIES FOR LOSING A DUMMY DO YOU ENCOURAGE?
“The dummy fairy/mouse (similar idea to the tooth fairy/mouse) can come and take it one night – and, importantly, leave a substitute in its place. Of course this has to be done with warning and hopefully get the child on board – it’s an exciting time, and perhaps the child can help you buy the box to put the dummy in by their pillow. Be sure to talk about and praise your child about how big they getting, and so on, first.”